Men today are more confused than ever—about love, identity, masculinity, and purpose. In this raw and eye-opening episode, therapist and men’s coach Chuck Chapman joins us to dissect the crisis modern men face: the collapse of masculinity, the trap of being “too nice,” and the emptiness of chasing success without self-love.We talk about:- The myth of toxic masculinity- What an “integrated man” looks like- Why most men are either numb, climbing, or broken- The hidden costs of not loving yourself- Echoism: the dangerous opposite of narcissismIf you’re a man feeling stuck, alone, or unseen—this episode might just change your life.✍️ 5 Key Takeaways1. Most men are stuck between two extremes: the “nice guy” who suppresses himself, and the “too much man” who's ego-driven. The real answer? Becoming an integrated man—authentic, humble, and courageous.2. The phrase “You’re doing your best” is often a lie. Real growth comes from radical honesty, not soft encouragement. Men need direction, not pity.3. We confuse perception for truth. Like counting the bouncing basketballs and missing the gorilla in the room, our minds filter reality through past wounds and biases.4. Self-love is not narcissism. A man who truly loves himself becomes a source—not a taker. He has more to give because he's not running on empty.5. The deeper path beats numbing or climbing. At a midlife crisis, you can climb harder, go numb, or go deep. Only one of those paths leads to lasting peace.▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬👇 SUBSCRIBE HERE:https://www.youtube.com/@JoshTheDerelict𝐖𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬...?▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬👍 Like the video (it helps a ton!)💬 Comment below to share your opinion!🔗 Share the video with anyone you think might help :)▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬📧 For Business Inquiries: [email protected]▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Follow us on social media:YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JoshTheDerelictTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@JoshTheDerelictInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/JoshTheDerelictLinkedin: /**Josh Tomeoni, CFP®, ChFC®, CLU®, RICP®**https://www.linkedin.com/in/joshuatomeoni/▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬And also our website:https://www.thederelict.biz/podcast▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬Timestamps:00:00 - Intro: Therapist or Coach?01:26 - Men in Crisis: What Changed?05:20 - The "Too Much Man" vs "Nice Guy" Trap08:10 - The 8 C’s of the True Self (IFS Framework)12:00 - Emotional Triggers and Internal Narratives17:00 - Integrated Masculinity Explained21:01 - Why Perception Is Not Reality25:15 - Gorilla Test: How Focus Blinds Us28:20 - Real Grace vs "They’re Doing Their Best"33:30 - Conflict in Relationships: The Real Root35:10 - Zero-Sum Thinking Destroys Relationships38:15 - Religion, Identity & Self-Love41:00 - Echoism: The Opposite of Narcissism44:00 - Why “Nice Guys” Attract Chaos46:50 - Addictions & Avoidance Patterns in Men50:20 - The Three Paths at Midlife: Climb, Numb or Go Deep54:10 - The Love Machine Analogy56:00 - Final Words on Becoming an Integrated Man