Elayna is a bestselling author, international speaker, and entrepreneur (best known for her award-winning blog thePositiveMOM.com). Those accomplishments are all impressive but they don't begin to do justice in conveying the insights she has about life, pain, and love. Elayna calls herself a "student of pain" because of all the trauma she has been through (e.g., being raised in a slum in Dominican Republic, being kidnapped and brutally assaulted, and spending 8 days in a coma; among other things). Many people might say that all of that trauma made her stronger and turned her into the person she is today. But as Elayna explains it, the trauma did not make her stronger, her ability to learn from and overcome that trauma made her stronger. 

It is a seemingly subtle distinction but I find it super profound, which is on theme for much of this conversation. Elayna picked ''being a student" as her most important value because she believes if you approach life with a learning mindset no situation can be too big to overcome. Sometimes you can figure it out on your own, sometimes you might need help, but either way it allows you to continue searching for solutions. She is clearly a testament to this given her lived experiences.

One of the biggest take-aways I had was a simple question Elayna asks her kids to gauge how she is doing as a mom; "do you feel loved?" As we know there is no blue print or handbook that gives you all the answers in life, so the way Elayna deals with that is by focusing on what matters most to her, love. If her kids feel loved it doesn't mean she is doing everything right but it does mean she's giving them the most important thing she can--and that is enough. Interestingly as we worked through the discussion we realized that question can be asked to ourselves as well. When we are unsure if we are making the right decisions, or doing enough, or worth anything; we can ask ourselves "do I feel loved?" And if the answer is yes, something must be going right in our life.