It's really hard to be furious if you are sincerely curious.  Curiosity doesn't require stress hormones and as soon as you put energy towards curiosity, your brain stops thinking you are in danger. If you can afford to be curious, you're not in a life or death situation that requires life saving action. So it doesn't need the stress hormones and you re-activate your executive functions. Bonus also, because your curiosity can then activate their curiosity and so you can de-escalate a bit.  

Read more: https://recoveringshouldaholic.com/2021/12/05/curious-over-furious/ 

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