Hi. This is my podcast BeingNoah. If you are new here, welcome. I’m glad you’ve made it, honestly, I need more friends. My stuffed animals, movies and my dogs and cat ain’t gonna cut it. Anyways, on with the subject of conversation. I’ve decided to give up my quest for success. It was tiring, and draining and honestly, was one of the least successful things I’ve ever done in my life. Trying to gain more followers, trying to get THRiFTA off of its feet. It was a never ending search for something, a feeling, a state, a being, that I could never quite reach. No like was enough, no purchase was enough, nothing was enough. Some of you may chalk it up to drive, to will power, my want for more. But it’s not that, and I don’t want more. I’ve seen the road that people go on, the riches they have and the life they lead, and honestly, I’m not impressed. They all seem like they should be successful, but to me, they seem so…. unreal. Fake. Unhappy. Lonely. Isolated. Maybe those are my insecurities being projected onto them, or maybe I simply feel like that road everyone wants to take, the road of fame, riches, likes and loves, maybe that road, isn’t for me. Maybe I want to delve right into the rose bushes, cut, and bleeding, but on my own path nevertheless. I don’t wish to start a business, be a spiritual practitioner, “live the picture perfect life”. That life isn’t for me. I’ve tried it, and it makes me deeply unhappy. I’m living the life I want to live, no matter how messy, unorganized and scary it may be. I love it, and while there is time, opportunities, more things coming, the present moment is enough. I feel as if I live a thousand lifetimes in every single moment, a single moment stretched out for infinity. I was impatient for the longest time, waiting, wishing, and wanting to “skip” to the good parts. But that silence, that fleeting moment of peace, was the good part, and I enjoyed it so much that I lived in it, existing purely in a state of slowness. Some of you may be thinking that that’s unrealistic. Unthinkable. That we must rush all the time. That the world is dying, that we must fight to save it. But I’ve tried, I’ve tried to rally the people, and I’ve tried to be a leader. It seems as if I’m not fit for the job, I’m not fit for the role. I beg you, let someone else be the healer, be the lightworker, be the climate activist. Please, just let me be me. Gen Z have had their childhoods taken away, thrusted these electronic devices into their hands, being told that their lives depend on it, that their future depends on them. &&&@ the future. The future is now. And that’s all I want to do, be here. Now. Thank you, and I wish the best for you on your travels.
