Believing in yourself is great, but are you ready for the task? 

 

[Music]

thank you for tuning in to victoria's in

recovery

it's been a pretty good week so far

i got a lot of

good response from my last podcast

and i just wanted to say thank you to

everybody that tuned in and listened

i was talking to somebody the other day

and it reminded me of so many

circumstances that i've been in

throughout this recovery of mine

i remember when i was

brand new

and you get out of jail or you get out

of treatment or whatever

and everything's coming at you really

quick and you get those

first couple of encouraging moments

and you're like i can take on the world

everybody's saying you know believe in

yourself you can do this

you got this man

you're doing so good

and it gets your confidence up which is

a good thing don't get me wrong it's a

really good thing

but what i want to talk about

is the other side of that

the part of that where

i know what i'm supposed to be doing

i'm supposed to be recovering i'm

supposed to be working on me

but i look out and i see my goals i want

to be

i want to have my children back with me

i want to

have the job and i want to have the car

and

i

want to have a nice phone and i want to

get all these things lined up

and so as soon as i get a job

i go out and i start buying things

as soon as i can afford an apartment i

get the apartment

and or i move in

wherever and i automatically want to

start thinking about

getting my kids back and getting all

these things back

and all those things are super good

goals to have so it's really hard it's

really hard because

there's that side where everybody's

saying you can do this

believe in yourself you got this

but there's a very real side that is

very much in need of recovery

and to be completely 100 honest i'm

still there

and there are a lot of things that would

be really nice to have and to do

goals to tackle amends to make etc

then i have to tell myself

no you're not ready

no you don't got this

i was told once that the right thing at

the wrong time is still the wrong thing

and that stuck with me

i think at the time i was

telling somebody about some girl i

wanted to be with or something but the

concept applies everywhere

and what made this come into

an idea that i wanted to talk about was

i was reading in matthew 25

and there's something there called the

parable of the talents

and jesus is talking about a landowner a

master

that picked three of his servants and he

gave one of them

five measures of gold and he gave

one of them two measures of gold and he

gave the third one just one measure of

gold to keep for him while he was gone

and so it tells a little bit of a story

the first guy went and invested the

money in one way and doubled the money

the second guy

did the same thing

he went out and invested the money he

doubled his money

and the third guy went out and he dug a

hole and buried the money

so some time goes on

and the master of the house comes back

and calls these three guys up and says

you know where's my money what'd you do

with that

and the first guy's like hey i

invested your money i doubled the money

here you go

and he says

good job good and faithful servant gives

him more

same with the second guy but the third

guy

that just had the one

he said well i know that

how you are with money and everything so

i was scared i just

buried it and here it is

and the guy says why didn't you do

anything with it you could have at least

put it in the bank and let it earn

interest

so he took away the one

and gave it to the guy that had the most

and that was always like a a strange

concept to me

you know i was like why and i never

understood it years and years that i've

read that story and i never really quite

understood it

until i started thinking about it in

recovery terms

in terms of getting my life back

together

and so

when i look at it like that i see a

whole nother picture

because in the story it also talks about

how each one of them was given the

amount according to h