This week on the podcast, Clint and Jared go it alone as we dive into the deep dark recesses of 90s goth-action-horror with the 1999's Beowulf! "Based" on the 8th-century epic poem, this steampunk/Hot Topic goth retelling of the classic tale sees the Highlander himself, Christopher Lambert (channeling both Rayden and Roy Batty from Blade Runner) arriving at a mysterious post-apocalyptic outpost to help slay a mysterious creature besieging it. Along the way, he ogles Rhona Mitra's comely Kyra, poses incessantly with all manner of weird weapons with gears on them, and generally gets everyone around him killed. Check out our custom cocktail and drinking rules, while we discuss its links to Mortal Kombat, the weird MTV-style sexuality of Grendel's mom, and how these characters seem physically incapable of taking off their leather pants.

(Thanks to our sponsor Cards Against Humanity as part of the Chicago Podcast Coop!)