Building Your Trust Fund - How to Trust Yourself After Divorce and Empty Nest

When your marriage ends, it's normal to question everything: "I chose wrong." "I stayed too long." "How did I miss the signs?" Your brain uses the divorce as evidence that you can't trust your own judgment, creating a spiral: "If I was wrong about THAT, what else am I wrong about?"

The result? Paralysis. You can't make decisions about dating, career, friendships, or even what car to buy. You either seek constant external validation or retreat completely. Either way, you're stuck, reactive, and powerless.

Julie introduces the Trust Fund - not money, but a collection of evidence that you CAN trust yourself. This is about concrete proof: you make good decisions, you know yourself, and you can rely on you.

What Happens When You Build Your Trust Fund:

• You rewire your brain to look for ways you can be trusted
• You stop needing external validation
• You make decisions faster and with less agony
• You're more confident
• You diminish fear of "wrong" decisions
• You give yourself permission to make mistakes (one mistake doesn't wipe out the fund)
• You reclaim your power
• You assume the identity of a woman who trusts herself

The Community Difference: Building your Trust Fund in community makes it grow faster - higher interest rate, bigger balance. Other women reflect evidence back to you that you can't see. Coaches point out proof. Community provides accountability - someone to share deposits with, celebrate with, and help make withdrawals when you're stuck.

Key Insight: Self-trust isn't something you either have or don't have - it's something you build, deposit by deposit. Over time, your Trust Fund grows until one day you realize: "I actually DO trust myself. Here's the evidence to prove it. But more importantly, I don't think I need the evidence anymore. I've got this."

Call to Action: Join the FIERCE Sisterhood where we build Trust Funds together in community. Email the word "sisterhood" to [email protected]

Question to Consider: What's one piece of evidence you can deposit in your Trust Fund today?

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

We would love for you to join us in the FIERCE Sisterhood. Email SISTERHOOD to [email protected] for details!

Julie introduces a powerful alternative to New Year's resolutions: choosing ONE WORD to embody throughout 2026. This practice creates laser-sharp focus that blocks out external noise and helps you move forward intentionally rather than reactively.

When triggered or facing challenges, you return to your word and ask: "How do I want to respond so it brings [insert YOUR word here] into my life?"

Your word becomes the lens for viewing opportunities, relationships, and decisions, helping you say no to what doesn't align and yes to what does.

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

Ready to stop setting resolutions and start choosing growth? Join the FIERCE Sisterhood - a community of divorced empty nesters choosing growth over resolution, learning to find value in today, and discovering that discomfort is actually expansion. Learn more here.

Perfect for: Divorced empty nesters tempted to "resolve" their way through discomfort, women tired of failed resolutions, anyone ready to approach their life as growth instead of a series of destinations to reach

What if New Year's resolutions are setting you up to fail? In this episode, Julie explores a different approach: growth over resolve.

Resolute means "firmly determined." Growth means "increasing in value, the process of developing." Which would you rather choose?

For divorced empty nesters sitting in discomfort, it's tempting to feel resolved to move through it. But what if there's another way? What if you could grow through the discomfort instead of forcing your way past it?

Julie shares three powerful ways to start your year with growth instead of resolutions:

3 Ways to Start Your Year:

1. Find Value in Today, Not Results in Tomorrow - What if success isn't about outcomes but about what's valuable in showing up right now, in this moment?
   
   
2. See Discomfort as Growth, Not Something to Resolve - Your discomfort isn't a problem to fix - it's information about your expansion. It's the becoming. It's the growth happening right now.
   
   
3. Invest in the Process, Not the Destination - Resolutions bet everything on arriving somewhere. Growth invests in who you're becoming along the way.
   
   
   

Key Insights:

• Resolutions require willpower that runs out; growth invites presence
• The discomfort you're feeling isn't a problem - it's information about your expansion
• What you do today is valuable today AND ripples into the future
• You get to choose: forced determination or gentle commitment to your own expansion

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

Learn more about the Sisterhood. Are you ready stop striving after divorce and start living instead? Click here to learn more about the FIERCE Sisterhood & find out if it's the right fit for you.

About this episode:  In this holiday episode, Julie challenges the lie we've all been sold: that living in the present moment is a luxury we can't afford.

As divorced empty nesters, we've spent years striving for destinations that don't deliver - the perfect marriage, the successful kids, the material markers of "making it." Yet we still feel empty. Julie reveals why: we're a task-driven society that's never been taught to actually live in the moment.

Discover what true presence looks like - being fully involved and fully committed to whatever you've chosen in this moment, recognizing you have choice at every turn. Learn why doing the deep work to know yourself is the only path to happiness and fulfillment (not the new relationship, not the vacation, not the achievement).

Julie shares how this understanding transforms everything - from dating after divorce to experiencing that beach vacation at an entirely different level when you don't need it to feel better.

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

"You can do hard things. But here's what's more accurate: You can FEEL hard things."

If you've been avoiding uncomfortable emotions, staying stuck in your comfort zone, or wondering why life feels so dissatisfying after divorce, this episode reveals the formula that changes everything.

The truth: We've been conditioned to avoid anything that feels uncomfortable. We're told that discomfort means something is wrong, so we numb, people-please, stay busy, and shrink our lives to avoid feeling. But discomfort isn't bad—it's a sign of transformation and growth.

In this episode, Julie shares the exact formula for moving through discomfort to create genuine transformation: Intention → Discomfort → Growth

Better Because of Divorce application: The two paths (avoid and shrink vs. feel and grow) and how every uncomfortable moment is a choice point.

Practical holiday application: Step-by-step example of letting kids celebrate with their dad on Christmas without making them feel guilty—even when it's excruciating.

The hard truth: It's almost impossible to do this alone. You need support from trained coaches to move through discomfort effectively. The first time without resources, you'll likely quit. With support, you build the muscle.

Ready to stop avoiding discomfort and start transforming through it? The formula is waiting.

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

What if the key to thriving isn't about doing more—it's about becoming more resourced?

If you're dreading the holidays because divorce and empty nest have left you feeling unprepared or overwhelmed, this episode introduces a framework that will transform not just your holiday season, but your entire life.

Being a "fully resourced human" means having all the necessary assets—emotional tools, mental clarity, physical energy, social support, financial ability, and spiritual connection—to function effectively and handle challenges without being limited by scarcity.

In this episode, I share the 3 R's framework for becoming fully resourced and creating holidays (and a life) that are real, not performed.

When you become fully resourced, your adult children see that growth doesn't mean abandoning everything, traditions can evolve, and becoming who you are doesn't require destroying who you were.

Ready to stop surviving and start living at your fullest potential?

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

Getting a pedicure isn't self-care—it's grooming. Real self-care looks completely different.

If you're dreading the holidays because you know they'll be emotionally difficult, this episode gives you a practical plan for deep self-care that actually sustains you through the season.

The reality: The holidays amplify everything—joy, grief, stress, and triggers. Cultural pressure tells us to perform happiness, decorate perfectly, and show up cheerfully. But what if we just can’t do that yet?

In this practical episode, I share a 3-step plan for caring deeply for yourself during the holidays—especially if this is your first (or second, or third) holiday season after divorce.

Why this matters: Without deep self-care, you survive the holidays—but you don't thrive. This plan helps you show up authentically, enjoy the season, and build trust with yourself.

The ripple effect: When you care for yourself deeply, your children see that self-care isn't selfish. You model healthy boundaries. And you create sustainable, peaceful holidays instead of just surviving them.

Ready to stop performing and start being present? Your deep self-care plan starts here.

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

More about Bonny:

Get her free Strategies for Happier Holidays here:

https://bonny-scott-life-coach.aweb.page/happier-holidays-guide

$50 OFF Mini Course: Getting to the Core of Estrangement 2.0

Coupon code: FIERCE

Expiration Date:  12.31.2025

https://bonny-s-site-b92a.thinkific.com/courses/getting-to-the-core-of-estrangement-2

Website: https://getyourlightback.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bonnyscottlifecoach/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/bonny.scott.14

Request details about the FIERCE Sisterhood , the complete support system for women ready to heal and move forward after divorce and empty nest, by clicking here.

In this episode, family estrangement coach Bonny Scott joins me to discuss a topic many divorced women face but rarely talk about: estrangement from adult children, siblings, or extended family.

Bonnie shares her own devastating experience of estrangement and shares that even as a trained coach, the pain felt unbearable. That experience led her to specialize in helping moms find peace after estrangement.

Key takeaways:

Divorce increases estrangement risk at any age—even adult children struggle when their parents' marriage ends after decades.

Remarriage can trigger estrangement. Bonny encourages inviting your adult child's input (not permission) before getting serious with someone new. They may see red flags you're missing.

Not all distance is estrangement. Young adults are busy building their lives. Don't create problems where none exist.

Validation is everything. The most important skill is truly listening to understand your child's perspective without judgment—even when you disagree. This is learned, not natural.

Healing without reconciliation is possible. Most estrangements eventually reconcile, but it can take years. In the meantime, build a genuinely happy, peaceful life and be ready if reconciliation comes.

Bonny reminds us: adult children want their moms to be happy. Connection comes through listening, validating, and having the self-compassion to acknowledge we did some great things as moms AND some not-so-great things. That's simply being human.

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

Apply for the Sisterhood here.

"Just think positive!" "Be grateful!" "Look on the bright side!" We've all heard it—and we've all tried it. But forcing positive thoughts when you're genuinely struggling doesn't work. In fact, it makes things worse. In this episode, you'll learn why false positivity exhausts you, the ladder approach to building authentic thoughts, and how to process emotions so you can create real holiday joy—not fake happiness.

What You'll Learn

The Ladder Metaphor: Why Jumping Doesn't Work Trying to jump from "I'm dreading the holidays" to "I'm so excited!" is like trying to hang Christmas lights without a ladder—you'll exhaust yourself and never reach your goal. You need to build a ladder of authentic thoughts and climb one rung at a time.

Why False Positivity Makes Things Worse When you force thoughts you don't believe, you create cognitive dissonance, bypass real emotions, shame yourself, exhaust your energy, and disconnect from authentic joy. Your brain knows when you're lying to it—and it rejects false positivity.

The Ladder Approach: Building Authentic Thoughts Instead of jumping to positivity, start where you actually are (no judgment, no "shoulds") and build ladder rungs of thoughts that feel TRUE and progressively more helpful. Each rung should feel authentic while moving you slightly toward empowerment and hope.

Thought Flipping vs. False Positivity Thought flipping builds awareness—it shows you that your thoughts aren't facts and that you have options. You can use thought flipping to choose your destination (top of the ladder), then build an authentic path to get there.

The Missing Piece: Processing Emotions at Each Rung You can't skip emotions—you have to process them at each rung of your ladder. Bring the "bully" (dread, anger, resentment) closer instead of running from it. Feel it, honor it, work through it. Only then can you authentically move to the next rung.

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.

Calm doesn't just happen—you have to create it on purpose. 

In this episode, you'll learn a practical 3-step process for creating calm during the holidays (and all year long), even when your ex is difficult, your adult kids change plans, or family dynamics are messy. This is about taking your power back and showing up with intention, no matter what chaos surrounds you.

What You'll Learn

Step 1: Define What Calm Means to YOU Most people want to be calm but have never defined what that actually means. Get specific about how calm feels in your body, looks in your day, and sounds in your life. You can't create calm if you don't know what you're creating.

Step 2: Anticipate What Might Interrupt Your Calm This isn't worrying—it's preparing. Based on history and real information, identify who or what typically disrupts your peace during the holidays. When you anticipate potential disruptions, you stop being blindsided and start being ready.

Step 3: Create a Plan and Practice It For every potential disruption, create a specific response plan—then practice it ahead of time. Rehearse what you'll say, how you'll respond, and how you'll maintain your calm. When chaos comes, you'll already know exactly what to do.

Key Takeaways

• Calm is not about eliminating chaos—it's about knowing how YOU will show up in the middle of it
• The difference between worrying and anticipating: worrying obsesses without a plan, anticipating uses what you know to prepare
• When you practice your calm response ahead of time, it becomes automatic in the moment
• You don't need perfect circumstances to have calm—you just need intention and a plan

Ready for Support?

Join The Fierce Sisterhood where we practice these tools together and you don't have to figure it out alone. Apply here for details: https://juliesteedcoaching.com/apply-program

Remember: You don't have to wait for calm. You get to create it.

Hi, I'm Julie!

I'm a divorced empty nester and the creator of the Life 2.0 Coaching Program.

As a certified Life Coach and National Board Certified Heath and Wellness Coach, I help other divorced empty nesters create the new life of their dreams; and I can help you do this, too.

🔥 To join the private community of divorced empty nesters just like you, find us on Facebook here.

🎤 Listen to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcast.

This podcast provides information only, and does not provide any financial, legal, medical or psychological services or advice. None of the content on this website prevents, cures or treats any mental or medical condition. You are responsible for your own financial, legal, physical, mental and emotional well-being, decisions, choices, actions and results. Julie Steed Coaching disclaims any liability for your reliance on any opinions or advice contained in this website.