Is there a tension that deserves your attention?  That’s the question for this chapter; the conscience question.  Of the questions, I think this, or the next one maybe, is perhaps the question that requires the most courage.  I think that’s the case because this one often isn’t quite so obvious...and this one requires some thought many times.  In order to ask this question, we have to be willing to pause and to consider opinions counters to our own.  That’s another way of saying that it requires humility.

Here is what happens, at least for me - get into decision-making mode and it is like a brief high.  I get excited to get a decision done and to move on.  And, once I start in that direction, I want it done, and I typically go into a mode of confirmation bias; that is, I have already kind of made the decision in my mind and now I am looking for ways to confirm that I am right.  I am no longer a detective, but I am member of the defense counsel.  I become a defense attorney for my idea.  And, it is true with alcohol as well as with anything else...intoxication desensitizes our instincts.  Not only alcohol - all kinds...we are intoxicated with the idea of being right, with being done with the decision as a whole, with moving forward or moving on.  And this lust or intoxication for progress removes that edge in us; that edge that can hear that subtle, “ah-ha...maybe you should consider this thing”.  And while our emotions shouldn’t drive the proverbial train, and we shouldn’t be steered solely on the basis of our emotions, our emotions SHOULD be heard.  This is the step in the process where we are intentionally tapping into them...into that internal voice that’s trying to tell us something.  It is amazing how our minds can relate ideas that are sometimes seemingly unconnected, and it can provide this internal warning.  This is about pausing to at least consider that internal nudge.

And here is another thing I have noticed in my own life - that ignoring our internal nudges long enough also desensitizes us to them.  If we ignore that emotional tug, the next time it doesn’t tug as hard.  And the next time, even less.  And eventually we don’t feel it at all.  And that’s how good people start doing bad things without really connecting their actions to their beliefs...they have become desensitized because they ignored their intuition too long.  That’s a bad place to be...and it definitely sets us up to make poor choices over time.  And, this is another reason intentional and productive relationships are so important...they can counter this erosion, and they can help to restore it and to keep it in check.  The same intuition that sends us that nudge loves when a friend of ours confirms that they are seeing the same thing, and it just helps that intuition to be affirmed and to stay sharp.

Bottom line for today - let that “something”, that internal nudge that is in you bother you - listen and look; examine it.  At least be sure you know WHY it is there before you move forward.