Beyond Beeps & Hums

NICU Awareness Month is about making NICU experiences more visible. But for those who have lived them, that visibility can also bring old memories and emotions closer to the surface.

In this reflective episode, I explore the tenderness that can remain long after NICU and the reminder that healing doesn’t necessarily mean becoming unaffected by what happened.

Sometimes tenderness reminds us that what happened mattered.

Other episodes mentioned:

Why Are We Coping so Differently? Understanding NICU Trauma Responses - with Dr Frankie Harrison

When Matrescence Meets The NICU - The maternal brain, trauma and becoming a mother in the NICU - with Lottie King

I spend a lot of time on this podcast talking honestly about the difficult parts of NICU. The things the medical model can miss. The trauma, the separation, the impact on parents and where neonatal care can and should do better.

But NICU Awareness Month also gives us an opportunity to recognise the people within these spaces who get it profoundly right.

Across my two NICU journeys, there are nurses I still remember. During our second NICU journey, the nurses I watched run towards a hospital during a fire and work to get every baby from tiny micro-preemies to medically complex full-term babies onto backup support and safely out of the NICU.

Those moments were extraordinary.

Some of the most important things NICU nurses do are much quieter. They learn the tiny person behind the monitors, numbers and medical terminology and they make you as a parent feel seen.

We can advocate for better systems while deeply appreciating the people already making those systems more human.

This episode is a thank you. To the nurses who advocate, who explain, who notice and who understand that sometimes caring for a baby also means caring for the frightened parent standing beside them.

As part of NICU Awareness Month, and in recognition of Neonatal Nurses Day on September 15, this episode is for the nurses who do far more than simply care for our babies.

Having a baby in NICU can create a particular kind of impossible pull when another child is waiting for you at home.

When you’re beside the incubator, part of you is thinking about the child you’ve left behind. And when you finally get home, part of you is still in the NICU.

How do you mother children who need you in two different places?

As part of NICU Awareness Month, and in recognition of Sibling Support Day on September 29, this episode of Beyond Beeps & Hums turns our attention to the brothers and sisters whose lives are also changed by a NICU admission. 

I reflect on our second NICU journey, when our eldest was only around 20 months old, and some of the things that helped us navigate that difficult push and pull.

You’re parenting a family through a difficult season in which different children need you in very different ways.

Resources mentioned

Hand to Hold — NICU Family Support & Sibling Resources⁠ — support, education, peer mentoring and resources for NICU families, including sibling support. 

March of Dimes — Family's Role in the NICU⁠ — practical guidance on supporting older children, maintaining routines and involving siblings during a NICU admission. 

What happens when the sensory cues a mother’s brain expects from her baby are delayed, limited or replaced by NICU?

Following last week’s conversation with Lottie King about matrescence and the maternal brain in NICU, this reflective episode asks a practical question:

When some of those cues are missing, what can we actually do?

We explore different ways parents can create bridges of connection within the realities of intensive care, through scent, touch, voice, looking, holding and everyday caregiving.

From bonding hearts and blankets carrying your baby’s scent, to containment touch, skin-to-skin, photographs, videos, talking and reading to your baby, this isn’t about trying to recreate the newborn experience you imagined, and it certainly isn’t another NICU checklist.

Instead, this episode is an invitation to become curious about the cues and moments of connection that are available today.

Other episodes mentioned:

- Kangaroo Care, Advocacy and Support with Tasmin Bota

-Why are We Coping So Differently? Understanding NICU Trauma Responses with Dr Frankie Harrison

-If Someone You Love Has a Baby in the NICU- Start Here

Substack piece

-I wish I had met you in calm

We spend a great deal of time discussing the vulnerability of babies born prematurely or admitted to the NICU and rightly so. But far less is said about the mother whose brain, body, identity and relationships are also undergoing an enormous transition.

In this episode, Anandé is joined by Lottie King, a NICU and baby-loss mother, nervous-system educator, charity founder and CEO, and master’s student at King’s College London studying the neuroscience and psychology of mental health. Together, they explore what happens when matrescence, the developmental transition into motherhood, unfolds in the context of trauma, uncertainty and intensive care. 

In this episode, we explore

• What matrescence means and why mothers deserve to know about it
• How the maternal brain changes during pregnancy and early motherhood
• Why “mum brain” is an inadequate description of profound neurobiological reorganisation
• How the maternal brain may adapt differently across first and subsequent pregnancies
• What happens when early motherhood unfolds alongside NICU, medical complexity, trauma or loss
• How separation and altered sensory cues can affect the caregiving experience
• Why NICU parents may rely heavily on monitors, charts and medical information

• Why NICU parents should not be expected to seek out all their own support while operating in survival mode
• What more compassionate, preventative and family-centred NICU care could look like

About Lottie King

Lottie King is a NICU and baby-loss mother, nervous-system educator, charity founder and CEO, and a master’s student at King’s College London studying the neuroscience and psychology of mental health. Her work brings together neuroscience, nervous-system education, professional learning and lived experience to deepen understanding of what NICU families endure.

You can follow Lottie’s educational work on Instagram at @nicu_neuroscience.

Families and professionals in the northeast of England can also find Leo’s Neonatal on Instagram and Facebook. 

Closing note

This episode offers a different lens on NICU care: one that recognises that while a baby’s development requires careful protection, the mother is also moving through a vulnerable and transformative developmental period.

When we understand both, we can begin to care for the whole family differently.

In this short reflective episode, we explore the invisible emotional load of medical parenting and why repeated hospital visits, uncertainty and constant decision-making ask so much of a parent’s nervous system.

And while there can be enormous gratitude for the care our children receive, there can also be grief for an experience that unfolded differently than we imagined.

In this episode we explore:

• Why medical parenting carries an invisible cognitive and emotional load
• How hospital appointments can reactivate stress and uncertainty
• The hidden impact of ongoing medical care on a parent’s nervous system

• Holding gratitude and grief at the same time
• Why struggling to access play or presence doesn’t mean you’re failing

Whether your child spent time in NICU, has ongoing medical needs, or you’ve found yourself carrying more than most people can see, this episode is a gentle reminder that invisible work is still work.

@beyondbeepsandhums with Anandé Ferreira

What if the exhaustion, overwhelm and constant feeling of falling behind aren’t signs that you’re failing?

What if they’re signs of a nervous system that has simply been carrying too much for too long?

In this episode we explore:

• Why survival mode is designed to protect us during difficult seasons

• The hidden load many parents continue to carry
• Why compassion is often more helpful than criticism
• How understanding your nervous system can become the first step toward healing

@beyondbeepsandhums

“I thought I’d be more playful.”

“I thought I’d enjoy this more.”

“I thought I’d be more patient.”

These are some of the most common reflections I hear from parents.

In this short reflective episode, I explore an often-overlooked piece of the parenting conversation:

Play requires capacity.

While social media often focuses on play ideas, activities and developmental support, many parents are carrying mental overload, sleep deprivation, sensory overwhelm, emotional labour, stress and trauma.

When the nervous system is operating in survival mode, creativity, flexibility, patience and play can become harder to access.

In this episode we explore:

• Why play is more than a parenting strategy

• The relationship between nervous system regulation and playfulness

• How stress, overwhelm and sensory overload affect parenting capacity

• Why many parents feel they are not parenting in the way they imagined

• The hidden impact of trauma and survival mode on connection

• Why supporting the nervous system often comes before supporting play

Whether you’re a NICU parent, a new parent, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the demands of modern parenting, this episode offers a compassionate reminder:

Struggling to access play does not mean you’re failing. It may simply mean your nervous system needs support too.

@beyondbeepsandhums

One parent wants to talk.

One shuts down.

One becomes hypervigilant.

One throws themselves into work.

One feels the need to control everything.

One seems emotionally distant.

In this episode, I’m joined by clinical psychologist, NICU parent, and founder of Miracle Moon, Dr Frankie Harrison, to explore the nervous system responses that emerge during and after a NICU admission. Together we unpack the fight, flight, freeze and fawn responses and discuss what these survival patterns can look like for parents navigating NICU and life beyond its doors.

We discuss:

• Why trauma responses are automatic, unconscious survival responses

• What fight, flight, freeze and fawn can look like in the NICU environment and at home

• Why parents often experience conflict when their nervous systems respond differently

• Why many parents blame themselves for how they coped

• How trauma therapy can help parents move from surviving to more joyful living

• Parenting in the way you want to parent, rather than parenting from fear and survival  

Whether you’re currently in NICU, recently discharged, or years beyond your NICU journey, this episode offers a compassionate reminder:

The ways you coped were not a reflection of how much you loved your baby. They were your nervous system’s attempt to keep you safe.

Resources

This episode features Dr Frankie Harrison, Clinical Psychologist, NICU Parent and Founder of  Miracle Moon

You can learn more about Dr Frankie and her support services, resources, courses and community through Miracle Moon below:

Miracle Moon
Follow Dr Frankie @miraclemoonuk

The NICU Space Podcast

Leaving NICU doesn’t mean your nervous system automatically feels safe again.

In this episode of Beyond Beeps & Hums, we shift the focus onto parents — exploring how trauma, chronic stress, sleep deprivation, sensory overload, and survival mode can continue long after discharge.

We talk about:

• What sensory overload actually is
• Why parents often feel more reactive, snappy, emotional, or overwhelmed after NICU
• How trauma impacts capacity and nervous system regulation

• Why seemingly “small” things can suddenly feel impossible

• Practical sensory strategies to support regulation in daily life

This episode also explores the different sensory systems including sound, touch, movement, proprioception, taste, smell, vision, and interoception and how understanding your own sensory needs can help support your regulation.

Because regulation is not about perfection, it’s about understanding what your nervous system has been carrying.

Please note: This episode is intended for educational purposes and is not a substitute for individualized medical or mental health support.

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with another NICU parent who may need it.