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What happens when heartbreak and logistics collide in a blended family? How do you keep kids at the centre when emotions run high? Toni, a blended family coach and host of Raising His Kids podcast, joins us to unpack the real work of stepmothering and co‑parenting: identity, boundaries, and the everyday systems that turn chaos into care.
We start with Toni’s unfiltered story, miscarriage confirmed the same day as mediation, and the mental health freefall that followed during COVID. With therapists booked out, she built the community she needed, first as a blog, then as a coaching practice where mums and stepmums find validation and tools that actually work.
From there we get practical: joint family emails to keep records clean, de‑escalating hostile messages, and using a shared calendar to coordinate custody swaps, sport, therapies and school. The guiding principle is simple but hard: reframe “my time” as “the child’s time,” especially when kids are sick or plans derail.
We dig into identity and security, why names matter less than safety, how a stepmum can be the mother of the house without replacing mum, and why biomums shouldn’t dictate a stepmum’s role.
Toni offers grounded advice for respectful communication, handling lateness and pickups, and supporting kids who move between homes. We also zoom out to long‑term planning: wills, guardianship, and financial clarity for blended families, plus the marriage maintenance that keeps partners connected while juggling complex schedules.
Connect with Toni on Instagram @raisinghiskids and @myblendedchaos.
If you’re navigating stepmothering, co‑parenting, or simply want stronger systems at home, this conversation blends empathy with action. Subscribe, share with a friend who needs it, and leave a review telling us the one shift you’ll try this week. Your story might help another family breathe easier.
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