Bible Study for Atheists - Genesis

so it's time for Husband and Wife to play another round of a game called You're Always Wrong.

You may be shocked to learn that we've found a few contradictions in the Bible. No wonder it's so easy to cherry-pick quotes to back up any claim!

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Husband and Wife cover a brief summary of the Book of Genesis and perform fairly well on a quiz. Then learn that Nimrod was very likely Gilgamesh, and that he was pretty much a douchebag. Husband falls asleep.

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Jacob Blesses Ephraim and Manasseh;

Jacob's Prophecy Concerning His Sons / The Death and Burial of Jacob; and

The Death of Joseph.

Them dudes died, but not before Jacob called out his sons' bad behavior. "Y'all suck!" he shouted before taking his last breath. Congrats! You've completed the Book of Genesis!

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Jacob and His Family in Egypt.

There's like this famine and basically they squeeze the people of Egypt for all they're worth and basically it's pretty mf grotesque. We hate it. Slavery ensues.

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The Missing Cup / Judah Pleads for Benjamin; and chapter 45: Joseph Makes Himself Known to His Brethren.

We apologize for all the ridiculous background noise. There is coughing, motorcycles revving, and reading flubs. Also, Joseph comes clean but he's so boring about it.

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Joseph's Brethren Come to Egypt for Grain; and chapter 43: Joseph's Brethren Return with Benjamin.

Joseph f*cks with his brothers a bit and yeah, the schadenfreude is real.

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Joseph Interprets the Prisoners' Dreams; and chapter 41: Joseph Interprets Pharaoh's Dream / Joseph Made Ruler over Egypt.

The baker bites the dust. Something about fat cows and grains that swallow. Famine ensues but Egypt learns to budget so whatever.

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Judah and Tamar; and chapter 39: Joseph and Potiphar's Wife.

Now we know why people think the pull-out method is an *effective form of birth control (*NOTE: IT'S NOT). Er bites the dust. Apparently it's evil to not impregnate your brother's wife. Joseph almost gets raped.

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The Descendants of Esau; and chapter 37: Joseph Sold into Egypt.

Some boring begatting followed by a story we wish Donny Osmond was here to sing. No raping or incest this time!

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The Defilement of Dinah Avenged; and chapter 35: God Blesses Jacob at Beth-el / The Death of Rachel / The Sons of Jacob / The Death of Isaac.

"Someone's in the kitchen with Dinah; someone's in the kitchen I know"🎶 Wife loses her sh*t and rants about rapey men who can't control themselves. The Avenging was definitely appropriate for those monkeys.

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