Most people think "mental load" means remembering to buy milk and book the dentist.

Sociologist Leah Ruppanner Ruppaner says that's just the tip of the iceberg — and she's written the book to prove it.

In Drained, Leah maps out eight distinct types of mental load that people carry, from emotional support and relationship upkeep, to dream-building for others, to the invisible work of keeping everyone safe and connected.

None of it shows up on a to-do list. All of it is exhausting.

In our conversation we dig into why people end up carrying so much of this weight, what it actually costs them, and the practical audit she's developed to help people recalibrate, without the guilt.