Today's message, “Big Boss Dreams”

Captain of the football team, extracurricular queens, power, notice, I’m an influencer, so now I’m seen – now those are some very big, big boss dreams!

Our desire for approval and our addiction to success is a craving no different from addiction to drugs or alcohol. As Andy Warhol once famously stated, “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes." Look no further than America, we recently elected a reality TV star as President of the United States. 

Undoubtedly, this drive for society’s definition of ‘success’ begins in childhood. Maybe it starts with pressures to succeed from well-meaning parents then it is further exacerbated by ‘influencer-esq’ get rich and famous quick dreams thanks to the likes of TikTok, Snapchat and Instagram.

When active addicts are in the throes of drugs and alcohol, they are not themselves.  They are extraordinarily unwell. So what does this mean for the millions and millions addicted to success, prestige, fame, fortune, etc.? 

Alexander Sutherland Neill (A.S. Neill) was a Scottish philosopher who died in 1973 and lived his life as an educator. He founded a school named, Summerhill, in which children were able to choose their lessons without adults imposition or coercion and the school thrived on community self-governance. Neill blamed a ‘sick society’ for creating unhappiness and affliction in children, which is a similar viewpoint held by many today.

He once said that, ‘healthy children are not clinging to people, their parents, others, healthy children are interested in things.’

In today’s terms, could this also mean that children and adults alike addicted to social media, influencer status and seeking validation from others is likewise a symbol for unhealthiness.’

Today, I watched an Instagram story by a woman with several hundred thousand followers. She is an influencer, I suppose an influencer Mom. Her pictures and her road trip narrative are beautiful, but what really got me was the way in which her two children ,both seated in car seats, worked with their camera. They must have been 3 and 4 years old.  I imagine to maintain her influencer status she is filming every second of their lives. Perhaps, the driving interaction with their Mom is with her arm up, phone in-hand, pointed at them.  Are these children  already learning how to hide themselves, their feelings, their interest in the world around them in order to be ‘on’ for the camera? To be validated by the masses?

After decades, mired in chasing status, awards and other labels from this world that we live in, how does one awaken to their purpose, to who they truly are and not how they’ve been conditioned to be seen, giving their power over to others to either approve or disapprove of their worth, allowing others to choose whether they are happy or sad. This creates dependency, just like the child that can’t let go of Mom and Dad and is disinteresting in playing autonomously with things.

In the song, “Lose Somebody” by Kygo & OneRepublic, “Sometimes you gotta lose someone, to realize you love someone”

Now, I am pretty sure that song is referencing losing a romantic partner perhaps and wishing for their return but what if those song lyrics were applied to our sense of self? What if we had to lose ourselves in order to awaken to the acceptance of our truer self.

Connect with me: Instagram.com/megan_nycmom