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Welcome to the most wildly entertaining world-building exercise you didn’t know you needed. In this episode, we crown ourselves the slightly unwell, highly opinionated dictators of our own fictional country… and the laws? Immediate madness with a sprinkle of common sense.

We’re talking strict enforcement of turn signals (miss one and say goodbye to that little finger 👋), relocating the Super Bowl to Saturdays where it belongs, and officially moving Halloween to the last Saturday of October so it always falls on a weekend. Public displays of affection? Absolutely not. Keep it moving. And while beauty is required (sorry, we didn’t make the rules… wait, we did), filters and catfishing are banned. If you’re gonna serve face, it better be your actual face.

Meanwhile, Shelley reveals she may already be living her dictator fantasy, considering her water glass never stays empty and her “citizens” somehow know when to refill it without being asked. Coincidence? We think not.

It’s petty. It’s aggressive. It’s wildly unrealistic. And honestly… some of these laws might improve society.

Tune in and find out if you’d survive in our country or get exiled immediately.