Two dads. One microphone. Zero qualifications.

This week, the Two Fat Fathers stumble through:

🥪 Ben’s heroic lunchtime smackdown when a rogue seagull tried to assassinate his colleague.

✈️ Darren contemplates selling a kidney after finding out how much it costs to send his kids to China for a school trip.

🎟️ Ben spends 8 hours in customer service hell trying to sell Ed Sheeran tickets. Was it worth it? No. Was it funny? Also no. But now you're stuck hearing about it.

🏈 American sports make an appearance, and Ben discovers that the Chicago Bulls don’t, in fact, play baseball. Shocking.

📱 A bitter text war erupts over when to record this very podcast. It’s emotional. It’s petty. It’s peak dad.

🧠 Mental health takes a rare front seat—because even legends cry sometimes (usually in B&Q car parks).

💻 And in a stunning twist, we confirm that Osama Bin Laden had a better internet connection than both of us combined.

💥 WW3? Nuclear annihilation? The end of the world? We laugh in the face of doom... mostly because we don’t believe there is an idiot out there to do it.

And finally:
🏳️ Scott’s still not gay. Apparently. Though were not convinced.

If you’re looking for wisdom, insight, or anything remotely educational — this ain’t it. But if you like unhinged dad rants, nonsense, and accidental life advice, you’re in the right place.

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