it's so interesting that I was talking so much about dopamine brain in my last videos I think and then I listen to this talk by J Krishnamurti and David Bohm it was the 12th talk they had in 1975 and it's a really amazing bunch of conversations or dialogues and one could probably listen to it a million times over and get something different and I listened to it a number of months ago but when I listen to it this time everything they were talking about was exactly what I was saying with regard to the dopamine brain but they didn't say dopamine they said desire which is the same as pleasure and they are even talking about thought and thought is the same in a way as the ego but the ego sounds like an actual thing whereas thought is just individual thoughts which is one's voice and one's own head and they were basically talking about how that process is self-deception pretty much creating pleasure responses in order to deceive oneself because it's just getting pleasure from images so it's not really related to reality and i'll probably do a video soon about that because there were so many parallels but the one that was most incredible was at the end when Krishnamurti was talking about compassion he was talking about the word compassion and he was saying that word just really has effect on you like it's amazing but then what he was saying was that compassion is always different it's a mystery it's always different it's always a Infinite and he was really talking about that for not very long but it reminded me of what I was seeing about how I was talking about the inner human dimensions and how it might arise as play or as love or as spontaneity and then I went on to say that it's really always different each moment and that's sort of what he was saying about the word compassion that it's an unfolding and it's always different in that state of love Beauty truth is also compassion which is always different it's not a certain thing that was really interesting to me that that whole talk was sort of a mirror of what I was saying to myself in self dialogue and I think that endogenous biomolecules of the ego voice that are created when we're listening to our ego voice are different than when we're listening to the endo means of direct perception of actuality and interestingly enough I watched a Jason Silva video today on can we change the past and he was talking a lot about what it is I'm doing in a way because he was talking about if we reframe our story we actually changed the past because we're writing over that other store and we tele tell ourselves and i'll get to more of that later but he was pretty much describing exactly what it is that I'm doing so in a way it's becoming less congruent for me to work in mental health because I'm creating all this other context I'm trying to tell myself a different story and reframe and recontextualize even use the word recontextualize and that's what this is I'm recontextualizing this mental illness diagnosis based on what I perceived initially and I'm harvesting that and I've always had that held close to my heart but I've never spoken about it and I still don't have people to speak to about it so I'm just talking to myself and I was thinking about what is the quote unquote reward of the other state when we're not in a dopamine dominant brain state and I feel like it's actually the energy when we have direct perception we truly understand something we get energy we get a bit of a jolt of energy and we can't understand something when we're in our ego voice consciousness and it's wasting our energy so that waste of energy is preventing us from seeing which makes sense because we're meeting and that's preventing the eyes from actually directly perceiving something it's too busy creating impressions of past memories to take proper impressions of the reality all around so that other state is learning understanding creating playing and it would be always different each moment like the state of comp