If you want to live kidfree, you are either celibate or engaging in some sort of birth control. And while women and men are both equally responsible for not having a baby, it’s really women who ultimately shoulder most of the responsibility.

This double standard on birth control is real. We have to manage and control our bodies in ways that men don’t.

While this is an unfortunate reality, I would also never trust any man (or really anyone other than me) to shoulder this responsibility on my behalf. It isn’t because men are dumb or incompetent or careless, it’s because I genuinely don’t believe men have been taught to take ownership over birth control the way women have. Also, I have a lot more to lose should there be an “oops.”

If you are a man who wants to live kidfree, I have some solid advice for you:

1. Take ownership over and actively participate in birth control.
2. Don’t assume anyone other than you is going to take responsibility for protecting you.
3. Just because you don’t want kids, doesn’t mean you’re off the hook if you get her pregnant.
4. Birth control is not failsafe and there are risks and potential for human error that you can help manage.
5. The least you can do is be aware of what she needs to do to not get pregnant with your child.
6. Get involved in the process so your partner doesn’t have to shoulder this massive responsibility alone.
7. A vasectomy is an easy option for you. The equivalent procedure for women is costly, invasive and is both difficult and demeaning to obtain.
8. People who don’t want kids do have them, and do regret it, and you could be one of them.
9. Pay attention. Show up. Get involved. Add value!

Listen to the podcast if you want to know how to be an amazing birth control teammate!