You see, kids, back in my day we used to go to these things called "live events." It was a special time where hundreds, sometimes thousands of people would gather to watch a spectacle of their choosing as one crowd. I know that may sound big and scary now, what with Big Germ and all, but back then we only cared about the thrill of it. Now get cozy and let your two platonic grandfathers regale you with stories of these times long passed.