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Bless Them Cheeks, Satan's Nuggets, Thanksgiving Factoid Pike Likes - Sparks Show 297

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Today we're talking about: THE POPE IS A HORN-BALL and WANTS TO BLESS THEM CHEEKS0, Sparks' Satan's Nuggets Dilemma , and Sparks learned some Thanksgiving Factoids and Pike like's only one!!

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The Thanksgiving Truth

  • The first one didn’t even really happen in Plymouth Mass.
  • It happened in 1619 in Virginia because 38 British settlers landed there and were like “holy shit we made it!!! THANK GOD WE MADE IT!” and so they literally thanked god by throwing a feast on that day every year
  • The thanksgiving we were all taught in school, kinda happened in 1621 in Mass. 
  • Now there’s a bunch of conflicting stories about the pilgrims giving food to the Wampanoag tribe, a way of saying thank you for helping us get through our “holy shit, this place is fucking cold in the winter” first year of 1620. 
  • So in 1621, the pilgrims had their first successful harvest and celebrated by giving food to the Wampanoag
  • Then we get to Governor William Bradford who planned the feast in 1623. He was all on board. 
  • By 1630 - he was said that the Pequot Tribe killed a white man and then burned down their villages and burned people alive. 
  • And if that wasn’t fucked up enough, he changed Thanksgiving celebration as a thanks to god for the victory. 
  • That’s not the first time thanksgiving has been jockeyed around either
  • Each state used to celebrate Thanksgiving when it wanted to
  • Until it became a national holiday.
  • It was actually a political move.
  • The fact that it’s a National holiday, is a by product of the civil war
    • Created to help unite families after many of them were war torn
    • Pitched by a Sarah Josepha Hale - the lady who wrote Mary had a little lamb - to president Lincoln
    • Lincoln liked it and went for it. Thus Thanksgiving became a National holiday in the middle of the Civil War - 1863
    • Thanksgiving was also jockeyed around for more than just political reasons. 
    • Lincoln made it the last Thursday in November, and that was a problem for the holiday shopping season
    • It made it too short!
    • The CEO of the department store of what would become Macy’s wrote FDR saying that moving Thanksgiving back would expand the shopping season and help pull the country out of the great depression.
    • So he MOVED IT! A week earlier!
    • People called it Franksgiving. 
    • So you had people eating thanksgiving one week and all the republicans eating a week later. It was a mess.
    • They moved it back.

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