Axes, knives, roller skates, and disco—when three Vikings and three hobbits face off under the spinning lights, survival is just another illusion. The Skarsgård brothers bring brute force, the Culkins bring chaos, and the rink brings carnage. Nachos are eaten mid-fight. A disco ball dies. The DJ regrets everything.

Who skates away? Who bleeds out? And most importantly—what song should’ve been playing instead?

Parody/satire