The word “vamp” has multiple meanings. To some it might mean a seductive woman. To many it will bring to mind a sanguinarily obsessed undead creature with long fangs that sleeps in coffins. To others it connotes stretching out some nonsensical patter in order to fill time! We are happy to report that two out of these three working definitions will be in play for this episode we did on House of Dark Shadows, the 1970 film spinoff of the popular television soap opera Dark Shadows. We detail the various storylines that the film somehow both drags out and hopelessly rushes as we get to know Barnabas Collins, Maggie, and all those other beloved Collins’s of Collinsport and Collinswood. If that sounds like nonsense to you… don’t worry we barely understand any of it either. Topics include: Vampire Diaries, Soapnet, and the 2012 Tim Burton Adaptation’s overall suckiness.