Comedian Matt Burn returns from LA and Hollywood has not changed this hilarious piece of garbage at all. Matt gives us 13 reasons why his girlfriend will never breakup with him, reveals his secret to making friends (it involves using the internet to invade their privacy), and we dig into his notebook for some of the darkest jokes in Philly. We also have a very special guest appearance from world-renown comic Feminist Dice Clay and Matt's good friend Andrew Tate drops by with some dating advice.

Lock in them carabiners boys.

*Something Something, Alert*