In this episode of the podcast Gavin is joined by Karen Hewitt, a coach with Blossom To Success, an introvert that went through hell and stopped letting someone else define everything about her and decided to take control for herself.
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KEY TAKEAWAYS

• I’m grateful for every single day because the headline I always give on my story is that I’m glad to be here today. I had a point in my life where I wasn’t going to be here, not because of things I did, but because my husband had complete control over me. They went to the extent of having control over my life and my death, which sounds kind of dramatic and harsh, but it’s what it was. I’m a survivor of what is classified as extreme domestic violence, not just talking badly to me and slapping me around, he took it to extreme levels where he controlled every waking minute of my life to the point he said he wanted to control every breath I took. There were two options: Let it define me for the rest of my life and live in fear, or take some of that back for yourself.
• I was diagnosed with depression and put on all sorts of medication, some which made me hallucinate because I wouldn’t sleep for days. While my divorce was going through I found a depression forum online and someone on there said “ I think you’ve been misdiagnosed, come out to Arizona, I’ll get into a doctor’s and we’ll see what’s going on”. So I flew to Arizona, met him and his family, went to a doctor and found out I’d been misdiagnosed with bipolar in England but what I had was situational depression. I got weaned off the 14 medications I was on. I felt like I owed this guy my life, I went from being a zombie to being able to function, he saved my life. I flew back to England and he started love bombing me, if you don’t know what that is it’s where someone does everything they can to express love to you so you get a serotonin high. He said he wished he'd proposed to me and never sent me back home so he got a lawyer to draw up some new visas for me and two days after my divorce came through I was back on a plane to Arizona and we got married.
• The first few months with this Southern gentleman were fantastic, it was like he was from a Hallmark movie, Hollywood, the ultimate romance story. A year into the marriage,  I was working in retail sales and a customer kept me behind for about 15 minutes. By the time I got home I was probably 20-25 minutes later than normal. I walked in the door and he slapped me across the face because I was late. I was in shock. What just happened? Who is this person? He then started love bombing again, apologising that he never meant to, he was just so worried, thought I was in a car accident and I’d died. He then started talking about how his father abused his mother and that’s all he knew growing up and he never wanted to be that way and needed me to help fix him. That’s a trap we fall into, they tell us so much that we fall into it again and believe it’s just the one time and I can fix him, we can work together and make it better.
• It took me longer than it should have done for me to leave, by three months the physical abuse had become a daily occurrence. It progressed from hitting to choking until I passed out. He’d say things like “you were supposed to have behaved”, cementing that everything I was doing was making him react in these ways. He began isolating me from my family and friends. I was with him for 5 years going through nearly 4 years of abuse where I had knives pulled on me, my head held underwater, I had a traumatic brain injury from where he beat my head on a concrete floor until I lost consciousness and he got mad that I woke up because he thought he’d killed me. He had me believing that I was such a terrible human being that I deserved his ‘correction’. I started to hope he would kill me, as it was my only way out. A friend from work saw him hit me when I was getting out of the car one day and they contacted someone they knew to contact the police and helped me escape.

BEST MOMENTS
‘I knew my first husband for years, from high school, and it turned out we were better friends. Plus, we discovered religion in our marriage and they put a lot of emphasis on marriage and expectations and how you were supposed to behave and it drove a wedge and we divorced amicably.’
‘The question everyone asks about domestic violence that really makes me mad is “why didn’t you leave?” It’s not apparent from the very first date, I never saw it coming.’
‘What I can ‘positive control’ is manipulation through positive actions. For example, I put something on to go to dinner and he’d say how stunning I looked but the next week I’d put something else on and he’d say I look nice but you looked beautiful in that dress from last week, why don’t you put that on? Before I knew it he was picking out all my clothes, what I wore to each location and never using negative language.’
‘I was told that I was a cherry blossom – when the blossom and the leaves fall from the cherry tree even its bark turns grey. This is because they’re digging the roots deeper so they can grow stronger for the next season.’
ABOUT THE GUEST
Karen Hewitt: I really get what it feels like to be that wallflower, to feel fake, and have to sleep for hours after any interaction with another human being! Because I have gone through this journey, investing in growth. I am now offering you the path already laid out so that hopefully, we can remove many of the obstacles I had to stumble through! I know we can work through those moments of self-doubt, that comparison we often have, and achieve greatness.
With all this history and passion I created my coaching programs, courses, and podcast training to help you make that life you have been dreaming of. All without feeling fake, exhausted from being someone you are not, and leaning into your hidden gifts.
I have found that so many of my clients come from diverse backgrounds and situations that it is truly inspiring to watch their strengths show through and begin to have that aligned authentic life and business! Where they wake up passionate, intense, intune, and ready to take on the world in their own particular way.
CONTACT METHODS
Website: https://blossomtosuccess.com/
Socials: @blossomtosuccess
ABOUT THE HOST
Gavin Scott is a born entrepreneur with a passion for start up and scale up. He has over 20 years real estate experience in investment and development.
Gavin says: Over the years I have discovered that mindset is everything. Now, that might sound obvious, but it is! You see the number of awoken minds are very few in reality. Whilst acknowledging mindset is key it is absolutely different from utilising, influencing, impacting and effecting great change, for yourself, your loved ones, friends, colleagues and the wider public.
Why?
Like most of us I have had many ups and downs. I want to share the lessons learnt and promote a better environment for all, internally and externally!
How?
Through sharing my own experiences and hosting some fabulous individuals including some big household names to discuss key topics around mindset and the success formulas I hope the listener will become inspired to create space for change for betterment in their lives. I aim to inspire change by encouragement, not by force. I intend to inspire by education, not by regulation.
CONTACT METHODS
[email protected]