From childhood we are taught how things should be – the ways people should behave, how the conversations should flow, how our lives should unfold. And so, when someone diverges from our expectations, even in the smallest ways, we rush to correct them, to offer advice they didn’t ask for, to intervene, believing that we are contributing to their growth, when in reality, we might just be protecting our own sense of control. To accept someone for who they are requires us to release this illusion of certainty and predictability. And yet, there is a paradox: if no one ever tried to influence or challenge us, where would the growth come from?

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It takes courage to stop, without having any justification or expectation in mind. However, I am starting to think that it is in these moments of stillness, we get the most out of life, and paradoxically, when there’s so little room for boredom in our lives, it starts to feel like the most precious state there could ever be. Countless possibilities, and yet no action despite everything.

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Many of us underestimate the impact of our surroundings on our emotions and perceptions of the world. One misstep, and you end up attached to the wrong person, with your memory of what it meant to live a stable, calm life rapidly fading away. There are toxic people everywhere – they might be a person sitting beside you on a park bench, a colleague who always finds a way to belittle your ideas in meetings, a friend who only calls when they need something from you, a family member who turns every conversation into a guilt trip. You might not even realize where the agitation, anxiety, disappointment, disbelief, and many other negative emotions arise from up until the very end, when it feels like it is too late. In the end, what matters most is not fixing every person you come across, but preserving your own sense of stability so that no one else’s negativity can quietly dismantle it.

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We blame ourselves, others, or the circumstances around us. And negativity becomes the default, because it’s hard to see through the veil of pain. But what if there was a meaning to all this? Have you ever thought what would become of you without all these unpleasant, yet very deep human emotions of sadness, longing, anxiety and so on. Would art, love, or passion burn as deeply without being touched by pain? Some of the greatest drives to create, to change, come from our darkest moments. I really believe the key to a fulfilled life lies in noticing the small things—the everyday blessings we usually overlook. Too often, we only realize how precious something was once it’s already gone. So the choice is ours: what do we focus on? We can keep reviving the painful emotions, or we can turn our attention toward those small moments of appreciation. And the more we notice them, the more we realize that none of it—none of the struggle—was ever in vain.

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Back when I was in my teenage years, travelling would bring me immense excitement, and upon the last day of the trip, deep sadness and frustration. Before living in London, I never really felt like my place of residence was somewhere special, somewhere I could feel the freedom of belonging. But at this present moment, everything is different. I’ve been away for most of this summer, having seen so much of the world, which I will never forget. And for the first time ever, I felt so happy when I discovered that I was in fact, homesick. I really couldn’t wait to go back to the city, which over the years became my home.

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I am on holiday in Switzerland

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It’s strange how quickly life can shift—how in a single moment, something you’ve built over months can disappear in a matter of days, as if the universe had been quietly preparing its exit long before you even realized it was happening. This summer, I gained more than I expected—connections, opportunities, a vision of stability—and just as quickly, I lost all of it. And what surprised me most wasn’t the loss itself, but the realization that there was nothing beneath it to hold onto. When everything falls apart and I am left with nothing, strangely enough I am faced with the reaction I didn’t expect. It feels powerful in some sort of way.

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Lately I’ve been stuck in a cycle of repetition and familiarity. Everything I hear, everything I see, carries the echo of something I’ve already lived through. Conversations blend into one another; places lose their uniqueness. I can predict the jokes before they’re told, the topics that will follow, the conclusions people will reach, as if the world became a looped script that refuses to rewrite itself.

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One of the most unpleasant things I’ve ever experienced was getting misunderstood. At times when you feel like you’ve done everything right and your intentions were sincere, there’s still a possibility of being rejected. Many of us tend to get frustrated when we fail to earn the trust of someone we look up to, especially at times when we are not even given a chance to explain ourselves. The harsh truth about life is that oftentimes, people will deem their subjective judgment more credible due to the discomfort and the time-consuming nature of trying to see a situation from multiple perspectives. Ironically, instead of seeking to find the certainty within, we think it is easier to seek it in other people, which inevitably leads to a repetitive cycle of frustration when it comes down to the inevitable nature of conflict. Being terrified of judgment, we not only disconnect from the present but also lose touch with ourselves by setting unrealistic expectations of what life should be, running away from something that is there to help us grow.

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It takes courage to stop, without having any justification or expectation in mind. However, I am starting to think that it is in these moments of stillness, we get the most out of life, and paradoxically, when there’s so little room for boredom in our lives, it starts to feel like the most precious state there could ever be. Countless possibilities, and yet no action despite everything.

For cooperation:

Website: https://lutinstas320.myportfolio.com

Gmail: [email protected]

Inst (podcast): @bluehourpod

Inst(personal): @stas_liutin (https://www.instagram.com/stas_liutin/)