In our tradition, the bodhisattva vows are the same as the marriage vows given by a preceptor in ceremony. Marriage is yoga, or union. It’s a discipline. The vow is like glue. “I vow to be with all things.” We vow to train our minds to see how we go to war with our own thought patterns that separate. Until you make friends with yourself on a very deep level, you will project your difficulties “out there” including onto your mate. When things get difficult, return to the vow.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMxvnoEBs58