The boys weigh in on an Old West classic, Bonanza. They discuss homophobia and impotency in the Wild West. They wonder if "Slow Boat to China" is a Bruce Springsteen song and rank their colon health. They have trouble taking the word "duty" seriously and extrapolate Brigham Young's stance on the diva cup. Jack praises the Cis-Continental railroad and encourages listeners to check out some old school adult entertainment.