Both-And Perspective by Project Mel

Mastering the Art of Saying Both Yes and No: A Summer of Intentional Living

Mel delves into the powerful concept of the 'Year of Yes and No' with guest Jim Hilber. Discover how deciding ahead of time and alternating between a period of saying yes to everything and a period of saying no brings both exploration and focus into your life. Jim shares insights on balancing personal and professional commitments, the importance of deliberate decision-making, and how saying no can be as empowering as saying yes. Whether you're looking to break free from analysis paralysis or simply live more intentionally, this episode offers valuable takeaways for a transformative summer.

00:00 Delighting in Summertime

01:37 Introducing Jim Hilber and His Philosophy

02:35 Jim's Journey with the Year of Yes and No

04:22 Balancing Yes and No in Life and Business

06:27 The Power of Deliberate Decisions

09:01 Gratitude and Growth Through Yes and No

18:21 The Importance of Balance and Intentionality

20:21 Summer Challenge

For more info on Jim https://powercore.net/members/jim-hilber

Key Takeaways

• Perfectionism isn't about achieving perfection but about avoiding painful feelings of blame, shame, and judgment
• Vulnerability requires courage to show up when we could have done it better
• Letting others be wrong about us is a powerful practice in releasing the need for external validation
• Mel's Lenten practice includes doing uncomfortable things daily, not explaining herself, embracing vulnerability, and not managing others' experiences

Quotable Moments

• "Blessed are we the ones trying, the ones failing." Kate Bowler
• "Every decision has things that are right about it and things that are wrong about it."
• "What if it was okay even if it was our fault?"
• "Business and entrepreneur are both spelled with a "U" on purpose. I want businesses to be the U-est you they can possibly be."

Resources Mentioned

• Books: "Women Living Deliciously" by Florence Given
• People: Brené Brown, Kate Bowler, Brooke Castillo

Episode Challenge

Where are you diluting yourself to make yourself more palatable? Be the "U-est You" possible, remembering that you're not for everyone in work and in play.

Caught in the "helpless hula?" - that spinning between wanting to do something and feeling powerless, this episode is for you. Mel asks which feelings we want to keep - even when they hurt. And how she's answering the ones that threaten to freeze her. She shares how she's willing to get it wrong and offers practical steps to move forward, from creating a personal DEI department to finding delight in unexpected places (like that surprise goldfish cracker in the car).  From tigers on corners to beloved communities, discover how you can find your own way to show up fully in challenging times.

If you’re like me, you grew up hearing, “It’s better to give than to receive.” What does better even mean? Maybe easier. What if receiving is not about the gift itself but about the act of being open to what life (and others) want to give us? Even if it's awkward gifts, unsolicited advice, or a blaise coffee shop "good morning."

Here’s what’s inside this episode:
🌟 Why receiving is different (and harder) than getting—and why it's so worth it.
🌟 The secret rule that made receiving life-changing during my cancer journey: No one who loves you can give the wrong thing.
🌟 How to become a wide receiver for life’s unexpected “passes,” whether it’s an awkward gift, unsolicited advice, or just a coffee shop “good morning.”

We’ll also explore:
🎁 The surprising freedom of receiving without the "shoulds."
🏉 How to adjust, stretch, and make those awe-inspiring “catches” in life—even when it’s not the pass you were hoping for.
✨ The grace of accepting what’s offered while staying true to your own preferences, tastes, and boundaries.

With tips, personal stories (like how my sweet pug Elvira taught me grace), and a sprinkle of holiday magic, this episode is here to help you embrace the both-and of receiving. Whether it’s the gift you wanted or the advice you didn’t, the awkward stretch of learning to be a wide receiver can lead to a bigger, fuller life.

My Gift To You:
Sign up for the FREE goal setting workshop here: https://bit.ly/eureka2025.

It's Pinktober for better or worse. Drawing from her own journey as a consumer, marketer, and now survivor, Mel dives into how her views on the “pink month” have evolved—from excitement over pink products to questioning the true impact of those purchases. Join Mel as she breaks down the history of breast cancer awareness month and the delicate balance between being charitable and profitable. Are we raising meaningful funds or just buying into marketing campaigns?  

Inspired by the arrival of a new family member, Mel Selcho reflects on how expectations shape our relationships with others and ourselves. Drawing from her experiences as an auntie, a mother, an entrepreneur, and a cancer survivor, she discusses the liberation found in letting go of expectations. Mel challenges listeners to love their lives unconditionally, even when things don't go according to plan, and offers practical advice on how to cultivate this mindset.

In this heartfelt episode, Mel Selcho invites listeners to reflect on the power of presence and connection, especially during uncertain times. While there are things in life we cannot control—like medical scans or tests—there’s something powerful in simply being present with each other.

Mel explores the metaphor of sitting on a bench in the garden of emotions, offering a space where we can share our feelings together. 

While we may not control life’s big moments (looking at you, PET scans!), we can share the bench and enjoy those cosmic winks that remind us of the beauty in just being present. It’s like the universe giving a little nudge and saying, “Hey, I see you!” 

Radical acceptance isn’t just for our bodies, our habits, or our frenemies—it’s for our finances too. Loving the dollars that come our way in cash and in kind is important to embracing the impact of the work we do in the world. Listen in to learn how to stop judging ourselves and our wages and step up as the stewards of just commerce.

What You’ll Learn:

• Why loving the money you earn is not selling out to toxic capitalism
• How our society teaches us to judge the dollars we make (and why that needs to stop)
• How our pay is connected and not connected to the value of our work
• The three big roadblocks to loving the dollars that flow our way
• Radical acceptance in action: How to shift from judging money to welcoming what it does for you

Mel Selcho gets real about her personal experiences with spending, debt, and high healthcare costs. From understanding historical messaging advising women to cut spending with eerie similarities to diet culture, she puts into context why money scarcity is an easy place to be. She shares how her journey 5 years ago to eliminate debt gave her the unexpected gift of a generous spirit that aided her journey through cancer years later. She identifies tips on how to reframe spending to make the same budget dollars go further in love.

00:00 The High Cost of Healthcare

01:21 Delight in Air Conditioning

02:08 Loving Every Dollar Spent

03:44 Facing Financial Realities

03:58 Money and Capitalism

05:33 Gender and Financial Messaging

07:15 Paying off Thousands in Debt

10:07 Healthcare Bills and Generosity

15:57 The Tip Economy

20:25 The Value of Paid Services

23:24 Challenge: Love Your Spending

23:57 Podcast Review Giveaway

In this episode, Mel Selcho delves into the challenges and triumphs of pursuing our dreams, sharing personal stories of frustration and inspiration. From a sequined tiger dress that sparked introspection to the realization that dreams come with both delight and discomfort, Mel invites listeners to embrace the full spectrum of the journey.

Key Topics Covered:

1. The Nature of Work and Dreams: How our dreams call to us in their success form, often hiding the frustrations and hard work required to realize them. And they are the excellence our soul wants to contribute to the world.
2. Project Mel's Journey: The origin story of Project Mel, born from a dream nagging at Mel for years and the regret felt upon her cancer diagnosis. The growth Mel experienced looking to her past for clues to success and returning to her roots of delight instead of conventional wisdom.
3. Super Dave's Story: A powerful lesson from a mobile mechanic who saved the day and taught how frustration requires taking a new look.