As part of our pandemic distraction tour, we have a Bottle Talk classic (aka repeat). A listener asks if wine is different in summer. We say, sort of. But with more details. Other listeners ask about carrying open bottles in a car, about the difference between Sauvignon Blanc and Fume Blanc, and about tasting room tasting notes that seem to make no sense. And speaking of making no sense, our Horrible Wine writing is perfectly paired with obscurity.

Listeners asked, so we explain using our signature clarity, wit and charm a bit about how the wine industry operates. Also, listeners ask about plastic wine glasses and stemless glasses, whether it’s OK to chill wine in the freezer and for how long, and if red wines that leave purple on the glass are a thing. Plus or horrible wine writing has a satiny, vibrant, dry-yet-fruity, tingling, amusing, medium-to-medium long finish

We give props a blog called SpitBucket written by longtime wine pro Amber LeBeau who explains why force feeding an education on customers is bad for, well, everyone. Plus listeners ask if Rosé is cheaper to make than other wines, how to tell if a wine will age if you get no clue from the label, and whether all wines need to be stored on their side. Plus, our horrible

We continue our pandemic distraction tour with another meaningless episode: We answer listener questions about the purpose of oak, why an unoaked wine tasted buttery, whether a flawed wine can make you sick, and just what the heck is a Claret. Plus our horrible wine writing has pulverized notes of effortless minerality. Really. Someone wrote “pulverized minerality.”

One extremely loyal listener – and very tough man – binge listened to every “Bottle Talk” from all 5½ seasons, and no surprise, had some questions about our confusion. He also admits to nightmares. So we answer some of his questions, including one about the shape of wine glasses, minerality, gadgets that supposedly make wine better when you pour it, and why we don’t have super impressive wine degrees. (Simple answer: Too much work.) Plus our horrible wine writing is cliché, meaningless, repetitive and it repeats itself with meaningless clichés.

In this Best of Bottle talk episode, we have research that says wine can improve your language skills, listeners who’ve been wine tasting recently ask questions about acid, fog and why the wines in stores taste different. Plus another jerk wine writer tries to tell us what “real” wine lovers drink.

We compare wine descriptions from major magazine about the same wine – and they are, here’s shocker, totally different. Plus listeners ask about headaches, letting wine breathe and food pairings for port style wines. And for a change of pace, we’ve got some wine writing we really like.

The restaurant industry calls Valentine’s Day “Amateur Night,” because lots of folks go to very nice restaurants they don’t usually frequent. We know all our listeners are cool, sophisticated people, nonetheless we offer some handy dining out tips. Plus, we’ve got some classic Valentine’s Day information, including a study that says a man’s scent can drive a women to drink, listeners who should know better ask us some wine and relationship questions, and we pulled out some of our favorite examples of horrible wine writing that shatters with allusions of love

We answer some questions about the best order of things at various tastings. (Paul says open the bottle, then you pour.) Also today, other listeners ask about how long they can keep an opened bottle, whether wine in the big bottles tastes different and what is a good temperature for storing wine. Plus our Horrible Wine Writing sounds like marketing material, yet still makes no sense.

NASA sent a case of good French wine to the Space Station but the astronauts can’t touch it. Drinking is not allowed there, which we think is cruel. It’s part of an experiment about aging wine in space – which soon every ultra-snob will try. Plus, listeners ask about organic wines, old vines and what countries import the most wine to the U.S. And our Horrible Wine Writing will make you bang your head on a table, which is also not allowed at the Space Station.