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NOTES

Good Sex is fueled by intimacy, as we can orgasm by ourselves.

“Our prediction models establish intimacy as the main predictor of sexual satisfaction.” Your Sexual Medical Journal

Therefore, to make your sex life better and more satisfying, focus on the following:

#1 Increase general relationship satisfaction…how both partners feel about the relationship overall impacts their feelings of sexual satisfaction as well. Given that, spending some time improving your relationship in other areas can benefit you in the bedroom. Psychology Today

Intimacy is key to having a healthy, functional and overall happy relationship. Johns Hopkins Chris Kraft, Ph.D., director of clinical services at the Sex and Gender Clinic

Exclusivity and Security fuels intimacy.  Comparison and performance kills intimacy.

“Results from Playboy’s 2019 sex survey suggests that most married couples value sex and report higher relationship satisfaction when having an exclusive sexual relationship with their spouse.” Marriage.com

“As with relationship happiness, duration was a significant predictor of sexual satisfaction.” Kinsey Institute

“In terms of how their sex life could be improved, people say they’re looking for more love and romance, more quality time alone with their partner, more fun, and less stress.” Verywell Mind

“Committed relationships make women almost twice as likely to climax” Women’s Health-University of Chicago study

Intimate Good Sex: Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual

Don’t weaponize scriptures or sex to manipulate and guilt another for self-gratification.

Spouses are unique individuals, And, generalizations exist for a reason.

Healthy relationships are made up of healthy individuals.

Intimate Good Sex: Physical, Emotional, Mental and Spiritual

Then God blessed them and said, “Be fruitful and multiply…” Genesis 1:28

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. Jesus of Nazareth – John 13:34

The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. 1 Corinthians 7:3-5

Marriage is to be honored by all, and husbands and wives must be faithful to each other. Hebrews 13:4

Physical: Orgasm gap (90% men & 48% female), Genital design differences, Regularity (snack, meal, feast), Communication

“…only 28% of women can have an orgasm from penetrative sex alone.”

“For a lot of women, they need direct clitoral stimulation in order to have an orgasm.”

“Women have the same kind of erectile tissues as men, but all on the inside, women need a lot of time for that stuff to come into play…After 15 to 20 minutes of foreplay,” ABC.net 9/17

Giving, as well as receiving, has its benefits. Research out of the University of Toronto tracked desire in long-term couples and determined that the happiest pairs expressed “sexual communal desire,” aka the desire to have good sex for your partner’s satisfaction as opposed to just your own.

“More than half of women reported they had wanted to communicate with a partner regarding sex but decided not to; the most common reasons were not wanting to hurt a partner’s feelings…” Verywell Mind

Emotional: Intimacy requires feeling valued! (Female & Male) 

Females & Males generally feel valued differently It’s different for me ( fair feelings/unfair excuses)

Female: Being “for me” outside the bed, confirms you’re for me in the bed.

Male: Being “for me” in the bed confirms you’re for me outside the bed. 

Sharing chores is the third-highest factor in successful marriages—behind fidelity and a happy sex life. University of Chicago

A healthy marriage with intimate sex requires mutuality, selflessness, serving, and God-given boundaries.