I took a break. I hope I can get you all back on board because I have missed writing these, but it just got away from me this semester so far. My brain is actually feeling the effects of it; it is cluttered. The whole point of this was for me to share what I am thinking about on a week-to-week basis, but I did not realize how cathartic it is to put these thoughts on paper. The initial idea was to find some outlet to promote my music or as my professor says, “tell my story.” It has become a public journal. I guess I will update you on what has happened while I have been away. In the last Breaker’s Point, I wrote that I had a show at The Westcott Theater. Well, that show happened and it went…okay, I guess. I tried to get ahead for this semester, so I put together a band in July, so there would be no stress to form Fall 2022’s iteration of Mnemonic Advice once I got to school. It might be the first time I acted so far ahead, and not procrastinated myself into a hole. However, I still ended up in a hole. Unfortunately, before the show, I had a couple of band members drop out, and it was pulling teeth to find replacements. Finally, I found a bass player and at that point, I just had to go with a trio. The MA3…sigh. The gigs were so successful this summer because I played as a four-piece and a five-piece. These groups add a whole higher level of musicianship, and know when to learn the parts I wrote on the recordings verbatim, when to throw them by the wayside, and do their own thing or a combination of both! A good song is a good song however it is performed and I truly believe that, but much of my stuff begs to be flushed out. I was not psyched about playing as a three-piece, and on top of that, we had little rehearsal time as I finally got the band together at the final hour. It made for a sloppy show, but I did have a lot of fun as I always do.
The following week, I just completely failed at getting a band together for a show I booked in July at Funk N Waffles. That was so disheartening. I had big plans for that one, but no one was able to play with me, so none of that vision was executed. I went solo acoustic. I had not realized it but I had not played a solo acoustic show in about a year. There were about fifteen people in the audience watching me, but as I have been telling people; I think it was the best live performance that I have ever done. I meticulously comprised a setlist where I was able to pour out in 45 minutes all the themes and key ideas that I have been writing about this whole time. I joked to the crowd that the set was not going to be “fun,” and that if it was fun they wanted, they should have seen me the week before with the band. It felt freeing that this set did not have to be fun, it was an opportunity for me to be extremely candid and communicate my artistic vision both directly in spoken word and through my songs. I was able to be my authentic self and make jokes and earnestly provide commentary on what songs meant to me and my headspace while writing them. I came off the stage feeling as though I had just purged all of my emotions. That is how I know it was good. There was also one man who came up to me and told me how much he enjoyed my set and asked me where he can find my music. I pointed him to my profile on Deezer. (Who uses Deezer?) I played a cover of “Friendship” by Pops Staples, and spoke about how the song is one of the few songs in the world that can make me cry. I explained how much I loved the Staples Singers and that this track came from an album called Don’t Lose This, which Jeff Tweedy, Spencer Tweedy, and Mavis Staples created out of unfinished demos from Pops. The man explained that he was from Mississippi and strongly identifies with the Staples Singers and that my performance felt like home to him. That might be the best interaction with an audience member that I ever had. It goes to show that the audience size should never affect my performance.
Ready to hear about show number three? For this show I did the impossible; I put together a four-piece band. Friend of the program Nick Beebower played drums, Ethan Girtz played keys and Trevor Fraticelli played bass. This show took place at The Harrington, a basement venue here in Syracuse. I did not want to stress about playing my material and making sure it sounded as tight and well-represented as I needed it to be. Ben Dietz suggested to me that I do an all-Blues set and that it would be so much different than other bands at Syracuse. Plus, it is a genre I am passionate about. I went home and thought about it and decided that it is a really good idea! (The only negative is that now Ben will never let me forget that it was his brilliant idea. Kill me.) I put together a Mnemonic Advice offshoot: The M.A. Blues Brigade. We did a bunch of blues and blues-rock tunes and we set the place on fire. It was such an amazing show. Everyone in the band was equally passionate about the music that we were playing. That took so much pressure off. It was so much fun. I played drums on a song…like wut? Sometimes when the goal is just to have a blast, you end up having a blast. We will see where that band goes. I do not have any shows planned at the moment, but I am working on it.
Otherwise, it has been a fun semester. I feel prepared to step out into the industry at this point, but with big dreams, it is hard to determine what the scope of my life will be. What do I like to do? What will be rewarding for me? How do I independently myself afloat? I will hyperbolically point to these John Lennon lyrics to describe my feelings: “When they've tortured and scared you for 20 odd years/Then they expect you to pick a career/When you can't really function, you're so full of fear/A working class hero is something to be.” I do have an idea of what life will be like for me after college. I am willing to put my head down and work hard and build the funds and the connections to get to that place that I really want to go. I will walk in the sun, if you will. Otherwise, I am having a good time socially. The last hurrah. The last dance. Whatever you want to call it.
Grateful Eight
* I am grateful for the guidance and knowledge that the Bandier Program has given me both directly in classes (obviously) and inadvertently. When you talk and learn about the same thing for four years, you develop strong opinions. I equally love many aspects and hate many aspects. My likes and dislikes could very well change, but it is nice to have a starting point to understand myself as I make this great leap.
* I am grateful for how much my family is staying in touch. This is a brand new living situation for all of us with my parents as empty-nesters, and Sam and I both in college. We are killing it though, and I know that is not the case for many families.
* I think I have expressed my love for my little poodle good boy, Henry. I have missed Henry this semester more than I ever have—so much so, that I think I might be a dog person now.
* Heard a great song co-written by Norah Jones and Jeff Tweedy performed on Norah’s new podcast. It is called “I’m Alive.” It is so simple both structurally and on the production side, and reminded me that in a sea of overcompensated production to try and make up for the lack of good writing that happens often in the mainstream music business, we still got some purity. I do not want to go on a negative, old-man-yelling-at-cloud tangent, but the songwriting has been so horrendous and lazy in mainstream music these days. A few years ago, I could listen to the top songs in the world and found a lot of value and interest. Even if I did not quite like the music, I understood it. Man, I cannot even comprehend some of the music that is popular right now. Pop music was KILLING it with Billie Eilish and Lizzo and Dua Lipa and now we have Willow Smith bastardizing punk music in a nauseating fashion. The negativity train stops here. Anyway, this Norah Jones song is good music. Heart. Soul. Passion. Warmth. Yeah, this is it.
* I will keep up with the music thing. I found an artist named Chris Kasper. He scratches that country/bluesy itch that I always find myself in need of scratching. “City By The Sea” is my favorite. He also does a great cover of State Trooper, and I am super tough on Bruce covers.
* Speaking of Bruce; the “Meeting in the Town Tonight” intro on that stretch of 20 or so shows on the US tour in 1999. It gives me chills. It also generates so much excitement it’s magical. I love it. I was just watching 11/15/99 in Cleveland and as he transitioned out of the intro, I just could feel from his 1! 2! 3! 4! that “cold rain running down the front of my shirt” would be the next thing he sang. I love “Don’t Look Back.” Electric.
* Ummmm….the Giants? 5-1? Is this real life? Brian Daboll, man. Saquon partying like it’s 2018? The defense is good?
* Ummmmm….the Rangers? I mean, they were supposed to be good, but they are off to an insanely hot start like I have never seen before. It will be a fun season if this is any indication.
This Week’s Rare Mnemonic Advice/Josh Carus Recording: “The Winner”
It has been hard for me to articulate the message in this song, and when I do articulate it best I sound like a sour person. Maybe I am a sour person, but I like to think I turn that sourness into good art; making a positive out of a negative. It is better than me just ranting, which many artists (sour in nature) do. Artists are hypercritical of other artists because artists are just passionate people. My friends tell me that I cannot just like something, I have to love it, and conversely, I cannot dislike something, I have to hate it! Anyway, this is a song about an upsetting songwriting trend. Right now in music, you can only be cool if you are not cool. That in and of itself is not a new thing. Stephen Malkmus is the opposite of cool. He is tall and lanky with a geeky haircut and an odd singing voice. With that being said, Stephen Malkmus is one of the coolest people ever. Make sense? He embraces his uncoolness and channels it into songwriting and has a vast catalog of uncool cool people anthems. Stephen Malkmus does not have to prove he is uncool to anybody, we already know. He can just do his thing. Young songwriters have been outcasting themselves in their own music. The appeal is to be the introvert at the party and just want to go home, cry, and listen to The Smiths or whatever the f**k. It is sooooo tired. Also, I do not believe them because they sing about being alone and different at the party in a way that clearly shows, they have never been alone and different at the party, They have just been regular human beings who for whatever reason were not having fun that night. It is very pick-me, if you understand what that phrase means. If not, oh well. Maybe Urban Dictionary it. This whole self-deprecating trend with the Willow Smiths and the Machine Gun Kellys of the world cosplaying as punk rockers. Olivia Rodrigo has done us dirty also, even though I think she is actually pretty good. I liken to it us having Pearl Jam to thank for Creed. Listen, I am not here to be the gatekeeper of punks, but the child of A-list actor/rapper Will Smith? I wish Joe Strummer was alive to see this, or maybe I do not because I do not think he would handle it so well. I mean just read these vapid nonsensical lyrics: Met her at a party, I said, "She seems nice"/Every time I thought about it, I got butterflies/And when I told you, we agree that she's alright (Ah)/Never thought I'd be trippin' over the lost time/I said it was fine, yeah/Layin' down, six feet under, it's sublime/Should've saw the signs, now we're in a fight (Ah) Are we serious here? I just do not like when people glorify mental health issues to ascribe to a trend or notion of the “tortured artist.” Additionally, I do not like when people wallow in their songs period. F**k the “woe-is-me” s**t. This song called “The Winner” encourages these types of writers to embrace the winner in themselves. It is actually compassionate, which may be hard to believe given the utter disdain in this paragraph. Really, I just want people to be their authentic selves and wear their emotions in their art instead of labeling them. I will wrap this up, but read this specific Lizzo verse that I LOVE. “Don't hide no emotions (Emotions)/Wear 'em on my sleeve (On my sleeve)/All my feelings Gucci(It's Gucci)/Can't hold back my tears/That would be a crime/'Cause I look pretty cryin'Oh, they ain't tell you?”
“The Winner”
I heard your sad songs
Clamoring at emotion
And empathy
You looked into the mirror
And said nobody’s fit to tell this story
But me
So you stick out throughout the crowd and think what the hell is anyone even talking about
You conjure all your self pity as if the loser in you is the same as the loser in me
Well you can sing words that will only break us down
Well you can stir the pot as my body boils in it from the mind down
But there’s a winner in you
And I wanna hear how it sounds
Honestly I don’t care
About anyone
Making out
We all long for lust
But you can trust
We’ll all figure it out
So the prom king didn’t want you but I want you and baby I wanna figure you out
Nostalgia is a tool but there are fools who think that they ain’t living it now
Yeah you can sing words that will only break us down
Apathy is in the sea when your sail blows you back to your hometown
But there’s a winner in you
And I wanna hear how it sounds
Tell me why you hurt
Tell me why you long
Tell me with more words
Deeper lyrics in your songs
I just wanna see you happy
I’ll be happy if you do too
Because life is always fleeting
Life doesn’t happen to just you
Tell me you see the bright side
Don’t be pathetic please
Why you wanna live in a world
Where everyone agrees
We’ve all felt like a loser
Parties where you don’t wanna stay
You’ve built yourself a living
Out of everyone feeling that way
Empty stories are best not told
Every single day
Baby it just gets old
What more can you say
Before you take out your best dress
Because its all just woe is me
And you put on the dress
And let everybody see
You are looking so good baby
You are looking oh so fine
Counteract the sadness
Let everybody see you shine
Let everybody see you shine
We’re all human beings
With human emotions
And human problems
I know you have more than advertised
But there’s warmth deep in your soul you gotta let everyone recognize
Well you can sing words that will only break us down
Show confidence the way people will remain when you come around
There’s a winner in you
And I wanna hear how it sounds
There’s a winner in you
And I wanna hear how it sounds
This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit joshcarus.substack.com
