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BREAKING NEWS: BOWSER LAUNCHES FULL-SCALE INVASION ON THE U.S.
Yes, this is satire—put down the tinfoil hat and pick up a red cap.
Live footage confirms it—Bowser’s airships are swarming U.S. airspace, Magikoopas are warping reality, and shell-based attacks are at an all-time high. The government is in chaos, the Pentagon has no plan, and Mario? Nowhere to be found. Is this the end of America as we know it?
Washington D.C. is under siege. Reports flood in of Koopa Troops overrunning federal buildings, law enforcement failing to contain Hammer Bros, and an eerie chant of “BOWSER WAS RIGHT” echoing through the streets. The Department of Defense has no protocol for an interdimensional invasion, and President Trump’s emergency plan includes "shooting the big bullets at the bigger bullets." Meanwhile, TikTok is ablaze with unconfirmed sightings of Mario and Peach looting ATMs.
No official military response has been confirmed, but rumors swirl of a Bowser Beam targeting major cities. Side note - Trump is freaking out.
The question is no longer if we’re at war—it’s who we’re fighting for.
The Mushroom Kingdom is calling—but so is something darker. Will you stand with Mario and the Resistance, or will you swear allegiance to a new, more sinister order? Choose your side.
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By InkedCuppaYes, this is satire—put down the tinfoil hat and pick up a red cap.
Live footage confirms it—Bowser’s airships are swarming U.S. airspace, Magikoopas are warping reality, and shell-based attacks are at an all-time high. The government is in chaos, the Pentagon has no plan, and Mario? Nowhere to be found. Is this the end of America as we know it?
Washington D.C. is under siege. Reports flood in of Koopa Troops overrunning federal buildings, law enforcement failing to contain Hammer Bros, and an eerie chant of “BOWSER WAS RIGHT” echoing through the streets. The Department of Defense has no protocol for an interdimensional invasion, and President Trump’s emergency plan includes "shooting the big bullets at the bigger bullets." Meanwhile, TikTok is ablaze with unconfirmed sightings of Mario and Peach looting ATMs.
No official military response has been confirmed, but rumors swirl of a Bowser Beam targeting major cities. Side note - Trump is freaking out.
The question is no longer if we’re at war—it’s who we’re fighting for.
The Mushroom Kingdom is calling—but so is something darker. Will you stand with Mario and the Resistance, or will you swear allegiance to a new, more sinister order? Choose your side.