White Women Wake Up

Breaking the Discomfort Cycle: From Defensiveness to Action


Listen Later

In this episode of White Women Wake Up, Karen and Jonelle delve into the "Discomfort Cycle" — a recurring pattern of defensiveness, shame, anger, and apathy that often emerges when confronting issues of race, sexism, ableism, and more. They explore personal stories of defensiveness in tough conversations, how white women in particular can struggle with discomfort, and the toll it takes. Karen and Jonelle break down how these cycles can spiral into exhaustion and apathy but also share how moving toward action can be a pathway to breaking the cycle. They discuss strategies for navigating difficult conversations and overcoming the urge to shut down.

Call to Action

  • Recognize the Cycle: Pay attention to moments when you feel defensive or uncomfortable during conversations about race or other biases. Acknowledge the cycle of shame, denial, anger, and apathy.
  • Shift from Apathy to Action: When feeling exhausted or stuck in apathy, shift toward small, meaningful actions — whether it’s seeking out new perspectives, educating yourself, or engaging in proactive conversations.
  • Practice Self-Compassion: Understand that discomfort is natural, and permit yourself to feel vulnerable without falling into guilt or shame. Use those moments to grow, not shut down.

We would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected]

Support the show

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

White Women Wake UpBy Jonelle + Karen