What if the “spark” you crave isn’t love at all, but your nervous system chasing relief after chaos? We break down the narcissistic abuse cycle step by step—love bombing, devaluation, discard, and hoovering—and connect each stage to what’s happening inside your body. The result is a clear path out of confusion: you’re not attached to the person; you’re attached to the internal state they temporarily create.

I share how intermittent reinforcement rewires your brain to seek tiny rewards and call it connection, why goalpost-shifting erodes self-worth, and how apologies without accountability keep the loop alive. We dig into the physiology of hypervigilance, the chemical highs of cortisol and adrenaline, and the false equation of intensity with safety. Then we pivot to practical healing: stabilizing your nervous system, relearning what safety feels like, and replacing drama with presence using simple somatic tools.

You’ll also hear how grief fits into recovery—mourning the fantasy of who you hoped they were, not just the relationship itself. I offer concrete steps to navigate the collapse phase after leaving, build boundaries that stick, and rebuild a life where calm becomes your default setting. If trauma can echo through generations, healing can too. Let’s choose the version of love that is steady, accountable, and kind.

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