In this bonus episode, I tell the story of when I fell in love with hip-hop. I was 11 years old when I saw Monty on a talent show tape, rapping on stage. I was immediately captured. A few weeks later, he rode down my street on a moped, stopped, and we talked. And that was it. That was the beginning of everything.

I talk about how I started writing rap songs in a composition book because I was in love with him. I talk about how my love for Monty and my love for hip-hop grew together, inseparably. I talk about how it took him two years to be in a relationship with me, but when we finally got together, he took me to prom and left a lasting impact on my life.

I connect this story to the film Brown Sugar (2002), where Sanaa Lathan's character Sidney falls in love with hip-hop at the exact same moment she falls in love with Dre (Taye Diggs). My story with Monty is the exact same structure. I fell in love with hip-hop at the exact same moment I fell in love with him. And those two loves became inseparable.

But I also explore the deeper questions: Why did I want love so desperately at 11 years old? Why from him? Where did my lack of boundaries begin? And why was I so drawn to this smart, talented boy from the hood who was "definitely smarter than me back then"?

This episode is playful, loving, and full of admiration for Black men—even as I hold them accountable. This is about my innocence, my need for love, and the origin of who I am. This is about the moment I inhaled hip-hop, love, and my identity as a writer. This is the origin story of The General.

And thirty years later, I can look back at that moment and exhale—not because I'm finally free of the pain, but because I'm finally able to see the gift. Monty didn't break my heart. He opened it. And that opening is what made everything else possible.