An unedited temple is the rawest, most organic form your body is in. The bloatedness, the acne, the stretch marks, and the cellulite. This is without the injections, without the creams, without the makeup, fillers or photoshops, this is you when no one else is looking and when you are not conscious of sticking your stomach in to make your waist appear smaller. It’s unfortunate that social media tells you that your unedited temple is not good enough unless it fits the “image” not just any image, but the perfect image. Social media’s idea of the perfect body for women is one of two things: skinny, dainty that follows a little booties matter hashtag or thicc with two c’s, and curvy but ONLY in the right places. But what happens to us that doesn’t comply with the boundaries the media inflicts on us? What happens to our worth, our perception of beauty, and the worthiness we measure ourselves in the world? What happens to the subliminal messages of “suck your tummy in and hold your breath when you take a picture, but when we look in the mirror and are reminded of the inaccuracy of what we portrayed only to realize the instruction was due to the incompetence of my unedited temple which according to YOU was not enough to fill your standards? Why does my total meal have to be the size of my fist and that I am guilty if today I feel like a Hersheys rather than an apple? The importance of familial roles is significant. They must ensure that your value is not contingent upon your weight. That regardless of your size you are worthy of love. That they discourage the preferable measurement of quantity rather than quality. It was unfortunate that through my pre-teenage years I was compared a lot to my stepmother. She was tall and slim and I was short and at the time I was told that I was fat. Constantly reminded that I appeared to be bigger than her and that it was a problem, so I was confined to what my father referred to it as fist foods. The portions were to be as big as my first. It may seem like a rational portion control method, but if I am exerting more energy than I am consuming then to me through my understanding is food deprivation. As I have come to understand the versatility in body types, the comparison of our body types between me and another woman with an entirely different biological makeup was completely devaluing. The constant remarks questioning whether I gained weight or not have transformed to me looking for recognition at the fact that I lost weight. And when no one praised me or commented on the loss, I felt that it was still not enough I continued to lose more by starving myself, sleeping when I was hungry, and multiple attempts to throw it up. At the time I still viewed myself as fat as I stand to look at my collarbones and ribs to ensure that they were still visible, a depressed little girl gazed back. It no longer took a physical toll, but a psychological toll leaving me with what is referred to as body dysmorphia. I saw myself two times bigger than I was and would break down every time I looked into the mirror. And even now, at times I struggle with loving my body and buying clothes 2 times bigger than my actual size. this is applicable to people who are naturally thin and are told to thicken up. If you love your body, but the negative remarks of the outside noise are interfering with the love you have for yourself, those are not the people to surround yourself with and assert that boundary of the unsolicited comments that do not serve you. And every little girl, boy, and gender in between that constantly hear the toxic words of weight that do not uplift you… you are strong, you are kind, and you have control over what you allow to verbally feed your unedited temple.
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