This Christmas, I present a reading of "R-TRNRD" by Bud Sparhawk, whose kind permission to read his short story from the mid-December 1993 issue of Analog Science Fiction and Fact was contingent upon spelling his name correctly - it's "Bud", by the way. "R-TRNRD" puts a fun twist on a beloved Christmas classic, and I'm pleased to share it with you as we prepare to leave a bizarre year behind us.