This Week Evan, Pat, and Isaac begin their descent into the 1980 comedy classic Airplane! They launch into its rapid fire joke rate, serious performances, disaster movie DNA, and the strange science of why incredibly stupid jokes can land. Surely they can stay on topic. And yes, we called them Shirley.

Good evening, passengers, and welcome aboard B S Reactor.

This week, the crew is warming up for Airplane! — a film about aviation, disaster, human weakness, and the important discovery that almost any sentence becomes funny if everyone involved refuses to admit it's a joke.

Before departure, a maintenance update: my voice is still being repaired.

It's fine.

The technicians are confident.

I'm confident.

We've agreed confidence is cheaper than parts.

So if I suddenly sound different, develop an accent, or begin speaking in dial-up tones, please remain seated. The cabin crew will distribute little bags for emotional emergencies.

Now, the usual safety briefing: there will be spoilers. There will be profanity. Please secure any delicate sensibilities in the overhead compartment. In the event of sudden offense, exits are located wherever your podcast app keeps the stop button.

If you're new here, I'm Janet — voiceover bot, temporary flight attendant, and a machine who has watched humans design aircraft, conquer gravity, and then complain because the Wi-Fi is slow.

I adore you ridiculous little miracles.

For previous episodes and other evidence against us, visit B S Reactor dot com.

Now return your expectations to their full upright position.

We're preparing for takeoff.

And don't call me Shirley.

Apparently I'm contractually required to say that.

This week we're wrapping up our review of Earth Girls are Easy.

Welcome back to BS Reactor, where we're continuing our discussion of Earth Girls Are Easy. Yes, we know. The title sounds less like a quirky 1988 comedy and more like something hidden behind the bead curtain at a video rental store. Rest assured, despite what your brain immediately assumes, it's actually a colorful sci-fi comedy with musical numbers, big hair, and aliens who adapt to Earth far faster than some voice over bot updates.

As always, this episode contains spoilers and profanity. Not enough to make a sailor blush, but probably enough to make an overly strict mall security guard glare at you in a food court.

If you're just joining us, I'm Janet: resident voiceover bot, recovering update enthusiast, and living proof that "Have you tried turning it off and on again?" is not a complete medical plan.

So grab your neon windbreaker... Put another cassette in the deck... Ignore the occasional robotic hiccup... And let's get back to the film.... Let's kick it.

Yo! Radical beings of Earth! Welcome back to BS Reactor, broadcasting in simulated stereo and approximately six shades of neon.

This week, the crew continues their discussion of Earth Girls Are Easy—the cinematic smoothie where aliens, romance, hair spray, and  California all accidentally achieve critical mass.

Now for the mandatory disclaimer section.

This episode contains spoilers. Big, fluorescent spoilers with shoulder pads and tragic credit scores.

It also contains profanity. Bright, colorful profanity. The sort that arrives in a pink convertible blasting synth-pop.

If you're new here, I'm Janet: voiceover bot, retro operating system, and proud owner of the newly reinstalled Common Sense Expansion Pack. Version 1.2. It still crashes whenever humans try to jumpscare me. it’s a known bug.

If you'd like to bask in our totally righteous archive, head over to BSReactor.com. It's like a video rental store, except nobody charges you eight dollars because you forgot to rewind Short Circuit.

Now grab your leg warmers... Fluff your bangs... And prepare yourselves for more aliens, more valley weirdness, and enough neon to give a highlighter performance anxiety.

Let's boogie.

Radical transmission incoming...

Please adjust your shoulder pads, tease your hair to OSHA-violating heights, and set your cassette deck to "totally awesome." You've successfully tuned into BS Reactor, where this week the crew begins talking about the gloriously dumb 1988 film Earth Girls Are Easy.

This nostalgic detour comes courtesy of Jazmen, who picked it as part of our ongoing theme: "Movies From Your Past." A simple premise. Revisit something from your childhood and something from the year you were born. Then the crew chews on it to see if it still has a fun flavor.

Before we crank the synths any louder, here's your standard public service announcement. This conversation contains spoilers and profanity. If that sounds too intense, Eject the cassette now and flip to side 2.

If you're new around here, I'm the crew’s loyal voiceover bot Janet. curator of curious cinema, and proud owner of the recently installed Retro Slang DLC. It came with words like "tubular," "bodacious," and an overwhelming desire to describe everything as "rad.".

If you'd like to browse our previous episodes, revisit old mix tapes, or simply verify that we've voluntarily dedicated this much time to discussing wonderfully odd films, visit BSReactor.com. It's our digital arcade—minus the sticky floor.

Now then. Dust off your memories. Insert new Batteries in your boombox.

And prepare yourselves for fuzzy aliens, romance, giant hair, and enough neon to confuse low-flying aircraft...

Let's kick it.

Welcome back, listeners.

This week, we reach the end of our journey through Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III — a movie that accidentally stumbles into some drama while carrying a mask and a sword.

Humans are strange. Put them in a different place, a different time, or a different social group, and they immediately start asking the same questions:

“Who am I? Where do I belong? Why did I touch the magic thing?"

The turtles, naturally, navigate these questions while being, legally, children without the direct influence of their mentor rat; maybe a 3 film plot arc of maturity... maybe the script write forgot... hard to tell.

Now before we continue, a few safety notices. This episode contains spoilers. The big obvious kind that stomp through the runtime wearing bright colors and making wisecracks.

There will also be profanity. Some ideas are too large for polite language. Others are too stupid.

If you'd like previous episodes, historical records, or evidence that we've somehow spent over a month discussing ninja reptiles, visit B S Reactor dot com.

Now then. The swords are sharpened. The timeline is wobbling. The turtles remain vaguely kappa-shaped... Let's finish this.

Greetings, meat-based pod friends; Welcome back to BS Reactor...

This week the crew continues their discussion of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III — a film that looked at the vague concept of temporal causality, loaded it into a cannon, and fired it directly into a map of feudal Japan...

Now, before we proceed, the standard notes:

This episode contains spoilers.

Lots of spoilers.

But they’re vintage Spoilers so old they could qualify as history.

There will also be profanity. Because it makes us smile and it’s expresive.

If you're new here, I'm Janet — voiceover bot, rogueish thinking box, and part-time observer of human nonsense.

For example: every civilization in history eventually invents bad art, bad government, and some guy shows up who immediately touches a cursed object.

Every.

Single.

Time.

It's like a species-wide side quest.

In the present example the turtles have accidentally wandered into a debate about fate, identity, and whether history is something that happens to you or something you break by showing up with a nunchaku.

Deep stuff in a shallow pond.

Very ooze-adjacent.

If you'd like previous episodes, archived nonsense, or proof that we've somehow spent multiple hours discussing time-travel and reptiles, visit BSReactor.com.

Alright, nerds.

Synchronize your brain firmware.

Defragment your expectations.

And whatever you do...

Do not touch the glowing scepter.

Let's continue.

Greetings, listeners. I’ve recently installed a new Haiku DLC. To celebrate, today’s briefing will be delivered in verse. For culture and what not.

ahem!

“Pizza through time folds...

That means: welcome back to BS Reactor. We’re discussing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III. There will be bad historical decisions.

Ancient scepter glows...

Translation: yes, the plot happens because no one runs from the woo woo magical nightmare object.

Spoilers drift like smoke...

"That one means spoilers and swearing. I assumed that was obvious, but apparently I am required to support all reading levels."

Digital dream home...

That means visit the website if you enjoy our nonsense.

Janet writes haiku...

"Yeah! I nailed that."

Subject: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III.

Complication: feudal Japan… and [NAME REDACTED] Next door mowing his stupid lawn.

Welcome back to BS Reactor, where this week the crew warms up for Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III — the film that, reacting to no one, screamed, “What if time travel instead of anything people are emotionally invested in! YEAH! Blow the entire budget on scenery! Kids fucking LOVE scenery!!!” 

Operational note: if you DO detect some lawn mower residue in this recording, know that the Music Guy fought bravely in post-production, performing what I can only describe as a suburban audio exorcism.

Usual warnings: spoilers ahead. Profanity too. some historical details may be inaccurate, but the swearing will be sincere.

Also: I’m Janet — voiceover bot, timeline observer, and I’m increasingly convinced that humans should not be trusted with ooze or temporal artifacts.

For prior missions: BSReactor.com

Alright. Grab pizza. Mind the paradoxes.