In this reflection, I use two loose (incomplete) metaphors to explore self care and personal responsibility (bubblegum and fire).  Along the way, I consider the following:  the self as a pattern of behaviors (as represented by a recognized pattern of responses to those behaviors); growing yet still loving within intergenerational trauma; respecting certain elements of the socio-emotional world as harmful; perceiving trauma versus feeling trauma; the need for extroverted thinking to have verifiable data; and emotions as a layered phenomenon.