If your child is a bully, you may not know that unless or until someone tells you. Bullies don’t come with labels and they don’t have a certain look. If you are told that your kid is bullying others, you may be tempted to fall back on the parent’s favorite defensive phrase: Not MY kid. But if he or she really is a bully, there are things you can do to change that. This week, one surprised mom wrote us asking what to do about her daughter’s bullying behavior.