You’ve been selected for an elite, invitation-only tennis showdown where the stakes are high and the backhands are questionable. Dress to impress—or at least wear something that makes your inevitable double-faults look intentional. This is a strictly 'Country Club' vibe, meaning we play like pros but hydrate like pirates. Don't be late; the only thing more exclusive than this court time is my patience for your cross-court slices."