"Over the last 8 years, life was simple. I could use whichever bathroom I wanted. I could marry whoever and...whatever! I could even frolic through the streets of San Francisco in my birthday suit!!!

But then, November 8th happened. I felt defeated...like the weight of Flyover Country was crashing down all around me. That's when I turned to Calexita!"

Do you suffer from random, spontaneous outbursts, fits of rage, uncontrollable emotions, chronic crying and chronic dry eye, and paranoia? You maybe suffering from a debilitating disease know as T.A.R.D...Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder. Calexita may help.

Calexita is not for everybody, including the 1%. Side effects may include the yearning for security blankets, therapy poodles, and Safety pins...Yes, Safety Pins...along with thoughts of fleeing the homeland and thoughts of assisted suicide. If you have an election that last more than 36 hours, please consult a Constitution. If you or your loved ones are infected with this debilitating disease, please be sure to consult a pharmacist and a sommelier. Calexita consist of 100 mg of OxyCotton, 500 mg of Xanax, and 750 ML of Russian River Shiraz. The Affordable Care Act may cover 1/16th of a prescription of Calexita and you may require an Adjustable Rate Mortgage to meet your remaining deductible.

Take back your world, take back your lifestyle...Take Calexita!

"I can now impose my lifestyle on the world again! I'm not gonna let Representative Republicanism stop me!"

Try Calexita!