What happens when your last name is on a building at BYU-Idaho… and you’re gay?

In this raw, unfiltered episode of Blame It on Mel, Jamison Manwaring opens up about growing up in a prominent LDS family, serving a mission, and silently battling the belief that being gay was something he could fix, pray away, or outgrow.

Did he bargain with God?

Did the mission help—or make the internal conflict worse?

What happens when you realize you’re still gay… after doing everything the LDS church teaches is “right”?

We talk about:

    •    Mission culture and internalized shame

    •    Suicidal thoughts and silent suffering

    •    Dating women while trying to suppress your true feelings

    •    The fear of betraying family and legacy

    •    The moment honesty became louder than fear

This isn’t a church-bashing episode. It’s a human one.

It’s about identity, pressure, love, survival, and what it costs to finally face the truth.

If you’ve ever felt like coming out would detonate your entire world… this conversation is for you.

🎧 Listen. Share. Tag someone who needs to hear it.

Because no one should have to choose between their faith, their family, and themselves.