Summary

HOLA - I'm heading into burnout again.

In this episode I'm not waiting until I'm on the other side to talk about it neatly. I'm naming it in real time. I walk back through six episodes of burnout across my life — from year 11, to college and my undergrad years, to child protection social work, to 2024 and now — and the thing they all have in common: every one of them was autistic burnout, and I didn't have the language for almost 20 years.

If you're a high-achieving, internalising woman who's been told it's anxiety, depression, perfectionism, hormones, or stress — this one's for you. It's not you. You're not broken. You're likely just undiagnosed.

Key points

• Why capacity and capability are not the same thing — and the grief in that gap
• What autistic burnout actually is (and why it's not "I had a big week")
• The "valve release": holding it together in public, falling apart at home
• Internalised echolalia, compulsive counting, and thoughts at screaming volume
• How food restriction and lost executive function showed up
• Vicarious trauma, an unsustainable work practices, and stress leave
• Interoception differences — and why a Reddit search did what doctors couldn't
• Mental rehearsal and scripting, and why we present "well" in appointments
• The three things to take away
• Why this is a feminist issue, and why rest is the radical act

Notes

• Meghan Birks — AuDHD coach, on capacity vs. capability. Find her here
• Easy on Purpose — free workshop for neurodivergent mothers who want to stop white-knuckling their health and fitness. Thursday — register here

A note on sensitive content

This episode discusses burnout, disordered eating, sexual assault (briefly and without detail), and mental health crisis. If any of it brings something up for you, please reach out to someone you trust or a professional for support.