I woke up fat and smilin'

I could hear them on Manhattan Island

"Gotta catch the Reverend Turk's next revival!"

One-zero, one-six, sixty-nine, yeah!////

Come one, come all, stand in line

and wait for your turn with the Cardiff Giant!

Are you a man of God, sir?

Well, certainly I am,

Now I see Genesis 6:4 ain't lyin'!

Gotta get the manpower

Men that I can trust

Who can cut a block of gypsum and keep their mouths shut

I'm an established tobacconist

And I don't have the back for this

But for those up to the act,

Oh I got all the cash for youse!

This is how it starts, this is how it ends

This is how quickly madness's cash can be spent

The wheels start turnin'

and oh they start turnin'

and oh they keep spinnin'

and whoah, they won't stop and then--

Come one, come all, stand in line, and wait for your turn with the Cardiff giant!

Tell Turk, George Hull said it himself, "Your God made me rich, I ain't even pious!"