As many of you know Trinidad and Tobago has been hailed as the land of steelband, calypso, limbo, parang, chutney, soca and carnival.  So it is with great excitement I welcome today's guest, Anya Elias former bandleader of Spice Carinval band and a private section owner and designer at Tribe carnival, to Caribbean Birth Stories.

As the title of today's episode suggests, Anya's path to motherhood has been anything but bland and I am truly in awe of her strength in steering her way through it all.

Anya has had more miscarriages than she can recount before the arrival of her rainbow baby. She is raw and transparent in the hopes that her story helps soften the pain of loss and isolation experienced after miscarriage.

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What do you do when the obstacles seem to get in your way of manifesting the family you’ve dreamed of?  My guest on today’s episode walks us down her path from Catholicism to Islam on her journey to motherhood.  Kristy is authentic and brave in our chat, discussing how choosing a person of a different faith to her own impacted the decisions she has made in parenting.

We also discuss:

- Being pregnant during a pandemic

- The differences between singleton and twin pregnancies  

- The power of nature/gardening as self-care

- Spending time with family and having family support

Kristy’s clothing line Zamani Caribbean launched in 2019 and can be found on IG @ zamani_caribbean or in-store at Sun Plaza, Munroe Road Flyover Charlieville IG @ designertrendz_ah

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We ended off episode 16 with my guest Chantal describing how her mother supported her choice to not have children and the impact that abscence of parental pressure had on her journey.

Let's tune in to hear what Lani and Jan Yves have to contribute to the discussion!

No surprise, these ladies stumped me with my own question, I promise to reveal my song choice in the season finalé, so stay tuned.

Find the ladies: Chantal @theclrcode on IG, Lani www.mooredaisely.com and Dr. Jan Yves Remy on LinkedIn

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Yes, this podcast is about Caribbean women narrating their story of giving birth, but what about the Caribbean women who choose not to have children or circumstances have never aligned to have a child, these same women may be bombarded with THE question...'any children yet?'

Well, my guests Chantal, Lani and Jan Yves do not disappoint in today’s first fireside chat; sharing with us their deeply personal, candid and sometimes provocative points of view of being a young woman in the Caribbean without a child. We address difficult questions from the jump examining ideas surrounding being a woman in general terms and in the context of motherhood.

Does being from the Caribbean subconsciously place pressure on women to conform and accept motherhood as a natural step in a woman’s life?

Is it a binary decision career vs. children?

We discuss some of the reasons motherhood isn’t appealing:

- Physical changes

- No desire or yearning to become a mother

- Career

- Sacrifice

- Breaking generational patterns

- Pressure to conform

How can we be better friends, colleagues, parents and partners to women of our region who have chosen not to have children?

So many questions and thoughts that we had to make this a 2-part conversation.

Find the ladies: Chantal @theclrcode on IG, Lani www.mooredaisely.com and Dr. Jan Yves Remy on LinkedIn

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Nicosia (or you can just call her Nic) is a time management strategist and Attorney-at-Law. Nicosia hails from the Cayman Islands and tells us all about delivering her baby in Hong Kong.

As a time management strategist, Nicosia helps her clients manage the use of their time in an effective, efficient and productive manner.

You can keep up with Nicosia on her blog at www.justcallmenic.com and on Instagram @justcallmenic

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Dr. Juan Michelle Martin is a licensed Physical Therapist of 14 years with an extensive background in patient care and competitive athletics.  She formed JMM Health Solutions with a focus on pelvic floor dysfunction in adults and children and provides services in Atlanta and many other U.S. states and International locations.

On the heels of episode 13, Dr. Martin is clear about the need for partnered support education and training and believes that becoming a mom drove her passion for addressing the needs of pregnant and post-partum individuals. Being a Physical Therapist offers us such a solid foundation that we can blend a multitude of passions with our clinical expertise.

Follow her on IG @thepelvicperspective and her website is jmmhealthsolutions.com

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When one reads or listens to a birth story, typically it is through the lens of the mother/birthing parent.  Very rarely are we exposed to the narrative of real experiences through the eyes of fathers/ non-birthing parents.  In today’s episode we shift perspectives, and hear HIS story, meet Carver Bacchus.  When their birth plan doesn’t go according to plan, Carver describes how he felt in that moment as well as how the miracle of birth changed him as a person. 

Listening to Carver, had me thinking, are we sometimes too hard on our partners? Specifically men, who as a consequence of, a culture of toxic masculinity; where men are discouraged or shamed for expressing emotion, may not verbalize any turmoil this life-changing event can bring. A conversation for another day but for Carver, the birth of his daughter led to a shift where everything became focused on his family. His love and admiration for his partner and daughter are undeniable, listen out for his messages to them!

Carver is the founder of Green Screen, the ONLY environmental film festival in the English-speaking Caribbean.  This year the 11th edition will be fully online from October 28th – 31st 2021.

For additional details follow on IG/Twitter/FB @greenscreentt

Website: www.greenscreen.film

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Anna is brutally honest about her experience of infertility; admitting her personal struggle has compelled her to champion the needs and voices of other women facing infertility.  Anna underscores many powerful points, the most significant of which is the power of our words.

Whether you are a medical professional, a therapist, a cousin or a stranger we must be more considerate and empathetic with our words.

Here is how Anna suggests we can display greater sensitivity to anyone dealing with infertility:

- When announcing your pregnancy, if you have a close friend who has not been able to have a baby and you are aware of their issues, speak with them directly (i.e. a phone call) vs. them seeing it on IG/FB or hearing about it from other friends.

- Be understanding if they take a pass on birthday parties for your child(ren) or even your baby shower, don’t take a personally, they may not be able to cope with these milestone events just yet.

- Try not to change how you act around your child(ren) when they are around.

Anna had a hysterosalpingogram (HSG) test performed on her which revealed that her fallopian tubes were blocked, check this link for additional details on this test:

https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/hysterosalpingography

Check out Anna’s business Strukcha on Instagram at @hellostrukcha

Click: https://www.instagram.com/hellostrukcha/

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Many millennials are faced with the question; can I have a successful career as well as a fulfilling family life? Career vs. family…do we even have a choice in the matter?

My first guest, Kimberly, shares her insights on how she continues to find balance.  Kimberly is quite open about the realities of choosing to have a live-in nanny in the Caribbean where it is uncommon and in some instances, she feels, frowned upon.  Nevertheless, there are many lessons shared not just for expectant and new mothers but also for employers as to how they can best support new mothers without them feeling that their growth within the organization suddenly becomes stunted post-baby.

It’s our season finalé!!!

Thank you so much for following, sharing and rating Caribbean Birth Stories.  Today’s episode doesn’t disappoint, I couldn’t wait to share this particular story because I truly had no clue about the plot twist, no spoilers promise, you have to listen till the very end.

Dr. Melissa Francis is an intelligent, warm and free-spoken friend who jumped at the opportunity to share the intimate details of her birth story; never even shared with some of her family or friends.  It is her hope that her story brings awareness to many issues related to babies born premature.

Dr. Francis highlights the remarkable work being done at the Psychiatric Hospital Barbados.

Follow them on FB @psychihospital.bb and/or IG @psychihospital

If you, or someone you know, is struggling in the antenatal or postnatal period please call 1 246 536 3091 or just walk-in it’s open 24/7 and the services at the Psychiatric Hospital Barbados are FREE!

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Look out for season 2, promises to be filled with many surprises!!

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