Metta State of Mind - Just Breathe

Carl Jung - How To Say Yes to Yourself and No to Others - Setting Boundaries


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Carl Jung didn’t use the modern language of “setting boundaries” in the way we do today, but his writings on the ego, individuation, and relationships point strongly to the same idea. For Jung, boundaries were less about rigid walls and more about maintaining psychological integrity while still staying connected to others.

🧠 Boundaries and the Ego
  • Jung saw the ego as the center of consciousness. Without a strong ego, you can’t establish a clear sense of “me” versus “not-me.”

  • Healthy boundaries, in Jung’s sense, mean knowing where your thoughts, emotions, and responsibilities end, and where another person’s begin.

  • He warned against ego inflation (where the ego tries to control everything) and ego dissolution (where the ego collapses into others’ needs). Both extremes destroy boundaries.

    🌑 Boundaries and the Shadow
    • Jung believed much of what violates our boundaries comes from the shadow—both our own and others’.

    • If we don’t acknowledge our hidden anger, fear, or people-pleasing, we project them onto others and lose balance.

    • By integrating the shadow, we can assert boundaries without guilt or aggression.

      🌌 Boundaries in Relationships
      • Jung’s work on projection explains why boundaries are difficult: we often project our unmet needs or wounds onto partners, friends, or authority figures.

      • Recognizing these projections allows healthier connections where we can say “no” without hostility and “yes” without losing ourselves.

      • His idea of individuation—the process of becoming whole—depends on this balance: respecting others while remaining true to the Self.

        🪞 Practical Application (Jungian Perspective)
        1. Self-awareness: Notice when you feel drained, resentful, or invaded—these are signals your boundaries are weak.

        2. Shadow work: Ask, “What part of me is afraid to say no?” or “Why am I attracted to this controlling dynamic?”

        3. Individuation: Boundaries are not selfish—they are essential to becoming a whole, authentic self.

        4. Synchronicity in Limits: Jung suggested that when you hold firm to your truth, life often responds with “meaningful coincidences” that support your stance.

          ✅ In summary: For Jung, setting boundaries isn’t just about saying no—it’s about honoring your Self, integrating your shadow, and maintaining balance between individuality and connection. Healthy boundaries are part of the individuation process: the path to wholeness.

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          Metta State of Mind - Just BreatheBy raggetysam