Abuse almost pushed Carroll over the edge. "I remember this one night, I said, This is enough of this, and so I loaded up the rifle when we went to the bush the next day, and I just hid behind a tree, and I see my dad coming, I cocked the old rifle, and had it on his head, and I was following him through the bush, and I just wanted to pull the trigger so bad. But I know to this day, I know now, that it was God that kept me from doing it. I would have blown him away, no question."