The Movie Gumshoes are on the case, trying to solve Hollywood’s latest head-scratcher: why would an Oscar-winning director sign on for what smells suspiciously like a Mark Wahlberg vanity project? A film where Wahlberg struts in, aiming to channel the sinister charm of Nicholson, the chaos of Malkovich, and the gravitas of Hollywood’s great villains... but lands somewhere between annoyed and constipated. We’re digging through the evidence to find out who greenlit this—and why no one called for a coroner, yet.