This week, the Movie Gumshoes dig into the ashes of yet another reanimated cinematic corpse—The Crow (2024). This time, it stars Hollywood’s latest Skarsgård export, Bill—brooding, bloodied, and contractually obligated to wear eyeliner.

Behind the camera? Rupert Sanders, the director who somehow keeps getting handed iconic properties only to return them dead on arrival. After Ghost in the Shell and Snow White and the Huntsman, we figured he'd already punched his “grim reboot” card. But no—he’s back, proving once again that the most dramatic thing he’s ever directed... was his off-screen affair with a certain bland lead from the Twilight Saga.

Is this new Crow a resurrection worth watching—or just another bird with broken wings? Let’s investigate.*