This week, the Movie Gumshoes go airborne—and off the rails—as they investigate John Carpenter’s The Thing (1982). It all begins with a seductive helicopter drop-off by Dirty Deborah, whose flight credentials are as questionable as her metaphors.

After landing on the fog-choked summit of Superstition Mountain, Jonathan and Jared stumble upon a long-lost contact: Jason Stackman of Interpol, who may or may not be who he says he is. Together, they probe the film’s chilling themes—paranoia, isolation, and shape-shifting identity—while trying not to get assimilated by the mountain’s secrets (or Stackman’s weird energy).

With flamethrowers, film theory, and suspicious goo underfoot, the case spirals into something far stranger than fiction.

Trust no one. Not even the helicopter.